tds

So I've got a bit happening lately. Still thinking far too much, but whatever; it's always something, isn't it? I will say, though, that one of the coolest things ever is the ability to surprise yourself...while one of the shittier ones is doing the exact same thing that you always end up doing without intending to. So, hey, there you go. Good mood, but a little down, I suppose. Lack of sleep is mostly responsible.

catagogo and I hung out, and got some more stuff for Audrey. She spent the next six hours tweaking out over catnip, which is amusing, but not all that cool when you're trying to both write and/or sleep. Smart fucking cat, though. I didn't get to sleep until six or so this morning for various reasons, mostly feline related. It's a pain in the ass, the not sleeping. I need to be on a schedule, and this won't help. But at least Monday's a holiday. Also, when buying catfood, isn't it normal to buy it based on what you would want if you were a cat? I got laughed at last night for that.

I'm not sure, exactly, what my deal is lately. I'm being all optimistic, but I can't tell if its legit optimism or just what I think should be happening. I got told the other day by this woman in the acting class --this black grandmother of six who's a really nice person from what I know of her--that I "looked like a glass half full person." I told her what I'd have told anyone: that no one had ever said that about me before. I had this conversation with an old friend, and over the course of it, it dawned on me that I was on the brink of making a STUPID mistake. Not for anything either of us said, but because, in weighing them the options and issues and whatnot, it made it abundantly clear how much of an idiot I am and continue to be. Amazing what evolves and what doesn't. You dropped out like three lines ago, so I'll move on.

Debating a trip. Spring Break is coming up. I haven't ever had a good Spring Break. And I think I might trick myself into obligations elsewhere.

Going to the bar in like four hours. Not going to drink too much, on the grounds that I just don't feel like it.

I've been trying to be a better person lately. Not that I think I'm a bad one, you understand, at least not really. But I haven't the energy to...well, not hate necessarily, but be as big of a dick. Life seems too short for those kinds of things, I guess. It's hard in some cases. Like, really really hard. But I guess that it's important for me to try. It's hard to explain (well, not really, but I just refuse to do so here).

Cheerios aren't as fulfilling as they were when I was a kid. Shame, really.

I feel like I might be getting sick. Which can't happen, because I just was sick. Bah.

This is poorly written and poorly thought out. I know, streak's alive.

Anyway, yeah, Streets tonight. Hopes aren't high, but whatever.

Later.