tds

I really am concerned by how much of a dick I've turned into. The whole coping device aspect has since expired, not that I would use it as an excuse. But I just catch myself sometimes thinking or (worse) saying horrible things what, while I don't especially feel the need to apologize for, I do feel are best left unthought/unsaid. I am what I am, I guess. A good person. Honest to god.

I have food now. And it's completely bizarre. Overwhelming, really. However, due to a stupid milk buying mistake, a gallon will expire tomorrow. Meaning I've been slowing drinking a gallon of milk for the last day. I refuse to own milk for a couple days only to throw it out. It just ain't cool. But I can't thank my big sister enough for helping me out with the getting of said food. She's good people, that Lobster_Mobster.

I almost went out tonight. I still might. I haven't decided. The lack of money seems to be the key issue. Otherwise I'd be at Streets, acting pleasantly aloof. But eh. It'll be there when I have money, so whatever.

The girls I find the most appealing never seem to exist. This is brought out, by the way, because I stupidly just did a MySpace search that was full of stupid girls who "don't read books, but DO read magazinez." Fucking hell. I just don't think those I want are real at this point. Girls who read and say interesting things and have a good sense of humor are just some warped myth. It'd be easier to find a centaur with a physics degree.

I'm watching the news. I don't know why. Charles Gibson has rugged good looks, i guess. Although he isn't pronouncing Uganda properly (Ooganda? The fuck?). That is actually kind of annoying.

Edit: Okay, so it just dawned on me that I think Regina Spektor is the bee's balls. Seriously, girl's amazing. If there ever were a female performer I could see myself having a Borat/Pam Anderson-like relationship with, it's totally her. And I think she'd think I was awesome. This has nothing to do with anything, but fuck it. See, now I want to head to Streets to see if that girl who looks like her is there. Meh. Anyway, yeah...

I think I'm going to stop this now. One day, I will write something here I'm actually happy with. Swear to god.

Later.