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tds

I make my summer residence in West Palm Beach, Florida.

Member Since 2006

Followers 45 Following 49

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Thursday Jan 11, 2007

Jan 11, 2007
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I am INCREDIBLY bored. Like, it almost is painful. I need to get out. Someone hang out with me tomorrow. Hell i'll pay someone to. Boredom is SO fucking boring.

So the semester is Tuesday, & i feel horribly unprepared, but i'm going for it. Shouldn't be too book-heavy, which is nice. And i'm totally happy with the lineup this time around, which never happens. But i'm mostly stoked about radio. Podcasts & fun, useful stuff this semester, PLUS a doorway to employment when i move into the city where i'm lead to believe radio stations are. So i'm looking forward to that.

Basically nothing has gone on since i got back, because it seems like everyone is off doing other things, & i have nothing worth doing. Well, outside of throwing stuff at the wall, which got old. And ditching Mormons.

So yes, this blog has sucked pretty hard. I was going to post a story, however i don't know how good it is. I mean, when i first wrote it, i loved it, but as time has gone on...just seems kinda there. Outside of the fact it's basically a combination of autobiographical events & Who songs, it really isn't bad, i guess. I just don't know if i want to post it here. Even though i posted it in Writer's Anonymous a year ago. Maybe i'll post it. Even though it isn't that good. It's either that one or the one i wrote in like twenty minutes to see if i could. That one turned out decent, however is much darker than most of the stuff i've written & i don't want to come off like a weirdo. Eh.

I don't know what depresses me most about Evan Rachel Wood possibly banging Manson: the fact Manson & I seem to have similar taste in women, or the fact that another of my current celebrity top five is out (Sarah Chalke, then Evan. Here's hoping Zooey Deschanel doesn't drop off next).

Debated seeing "Primeval", then found out the "most prolific serial killer in history" is a fucking crocodile. That isn't a spoiler, by the way, as far as i'm concerned because the commercials go out of their way to dupe people into thinking it's a slasher flick. So it's a heads up. At least "Lake Placid" had Betty White cursing. This one just has fucking Orlando Jones.

Anyway, yeah, i'll stop wasting your life now. The story here is the dark one, because having read it again, i enjoyed it. The other one needs editing. No one take this literally, because it's only a story. I wrote this in twenty minutes to see if i could a few years back, as both a challenge to myself & to the staff of the Redlands program. They were still slightly convinced i was crazy, & where almost confused when i wasn't. Even better was how weird they thought i was since i wrote things with a sense of humor. So i kinda wanted to fuck with them. It was a weird time. Anyway, not based on anyone, just me fucking around.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I see her dancing across that ballroom. God, she's beautiful. Looking at her, I can almost feel my heart shatter. Herand himtogether. It's just wrong, like I've taken a bad step somewhere. This guy, Chad, should be at my wedding, watching uncomfortably as the new Mr. and Mrs. Kirk Roman dance to "Sea Of Love," not me. This Chad guy should be eating Kirk and Lola's goddamn triple-decker cake. This Chad should be the guy serving the drinks during Kirk and Lola's reception. I want to speak up, but I can't, can I? They don't even know I'm here. They never know. I honestly and truly don't know why; I'm not hiding, I'm not sneaking-I'm just there. I've got nothing to hide. But I'm always there.
I've been with Lola Montgomery since December second, 2000. We met at the Ox Bar and Grill when she was a freshman at Cortland. Bought her a pint. She says we "broke up" in March, but that doesn't mean anything. The end of a relationship is and always has been a unanimous decision. Always. No exceptions, ever. I didn't give it the okay, so there's the answer. So I decided, ultimately, that I'd see her anyway. Relax, I'm no stalker or sick weirdo -far from it. No, I'm the one for her, she's the one for me -it's destiny. Simple. So, since March 27, 2001, I've been making sure my girl is safe. Safe from those lying, cheating, stealing bastards men really are.
Lola met Chad on our twenty-month anniversary vacation to Greece. Business kept me from coming, unfortunately. I always loved watching her eat over there; poor girl, she can't eat feta, so she gets chedder in her salads instead. Lola speaks fluent Greek, you know. I can't speak a word of it -it's all Greek to me. It was this strange order that brought Chad Marlowe into our lives. A fellow anti-fetite. She had a lot of nerve, picking up some blonde Aaron Spelling beach bum on our twenty-month anniversary. Then she did something that almost made me dump her: she brought that pretty jerk into her hotel room. But, I forgave herfor the last time.
For some reason, she insisted on him joining us everywhere. Gone were the quiet lunches we shared at Caf Edmund. Gone were our nights of Survivor and Gilmore Girls. Instead, it was Chad. Chad Chad Chad Chad. Going for what would've been a lovely drive through the endless rolling hills of upstate New York, with the sweet sounds of Tori Amos coming from Lola's stereo in our 2003 PT Cruiser. The sweet voice of Tori was silenced, then replaced with the satanic voice of Ozzy Osbourne as he yelled something about a Mr. Crowley into the once quiet mountains. Our diet? Ruined! That sinner Chad saw fit to trap me in his evil web of adultery and corruption by leaving a bag of Doritos in our car. He knew damn well I -we- have an eating disorder! Chad was trying to kill me, and there was no way I could let Lola succumb to his evil. Thenhe proposed. He proposed. Lola yanked out my heart and stomped on my soul when she said yes. She would marry a Satan-worshipping, adulterous, downright evil man when she could have had her true love: me. Kirk Milhouse Roman. Her soulmate. A man who appreciates the finer things in life, like the changing of the leaves in autumn (something that prick Chad never did!). A man who can recite everything from Neil Diamond to William Shakespeare for her romantic delight. Not Chad, who can't count to two without dropping his pants.
So here I sit, watching their wedding from our car as they celebrate across the street. If I can't have her, no one can. He sure as hell can't! What kind of world is it when a guy who does everything right gets screwed in the end? I pull out my knife, and stare. Tonight will be the last time she betrays me. Tonight will be the last time Chad Marlowe gets in the way of true, divine love! I notice a car speeding out of the entrance to the reception hall. That's funny. It's almost a pity that more won't see my moral obligation. I look at my watch. The time is-
A jarring blow hits. The speeding Elantra is now in front of me. I feel the impact, but don't hear the sound until a few minutes later. I blink once, I see red. Twice, I see black. Three times, I see a blinding light
A window opens up. I see what looks like a junkyard: two cars, totaled to the extreme. A young man and woman in the Elantra aren't moving. The man in the PT Cruiser has something hanging out the side window. I look closer, and I can see what looks like hair; the rest is like a bowl of beefaroni. That beefaroni is me.
The window turns into a tunnel. A dark crimson engulfs the majority of the visible space. I hear screams. I don't know if they're screams of pain, but it almost sounds pleasurable. A vision is before me: a figure in black, sitting on a throne, the back of the chair looking like a crucifix. His face is obscured, the only thing visible are two large, white eyes, with red pupils. It suddenly dawns on me just what could possibly be happeningbut that all is bullshit, isn't it? Oh Godplease help me! Oh God
I cry out. I wave the white flag! You win! I quit! Just fucking save me! I fall to the ground, and the evil surrounds me. A loud, demented warble fills the air, but for some reason, it's comforting. It's familiar. I realize the voice is mine; the voice most people might call a Conscience. As I fade into obscurity, I only hear its final words:

]"Welcome home, Kirk Roman! Welcomehome!"



I don't hate that one whatsoever. Anyway, yeah, i'll really end this now. If ANYONE wants to hang out & do ANYTHING, let me know.

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