I sit alone typing, at a loss for words to write. Emptiness has taken over everything. Pain has hit me the hardest it has ever hit. My tears have gone dry, and my heart only bleeds for my own mistakes. The music plays in the background, the words make no sense. My body trembles with the cold breeze. Sadness loves my company, and I hate sadness for it. Why do things go so well, seem so great and feel so right, only to leave you stranded and shivering? I dont want to be here anymore. I am so tired of feeling this way. I am so cold and tired. I want to be loved unconditionally, I just want to be held and hear those friendly words, Everything is going to be ok. Instead, I am a joke, someone easily fooled, and someone easily taken for granted. Someone easily stepped on and left out to the trash. Why do I have to feel like this? What have I done so wrong to deserve this pain? All I wanted was to make others happy, all I wanted was for the world to smile for just one second. I bit off more then I could chew. I trusted my heart when I should have listened to my mind. Im the only one to blame.
I sit alone and wait for the phone to ring. I wait to her a loving voice. I wait to hear the words of an unconditional love. I sit and I wait. The phone doesnt ring. I check the phone every single minute, hoping the ringer is off and I missed the call, but the ringer is on, and I have no messages. Why do seconds seem like hours when youre in pain? Time stops and youre the only one who stands. I try so hard to detach myself from the phone, but I cant. I guess Im a glutton for punishment. I guess I like feeling like this. I guess I am the only one to blame.
I have lived my life pleasing others and hoping for the same in return. The opinions and advice from others only sound like mumbles. I dont understand their language and I dont want to. The phone rings and my heart pounds. I answer it hoping its that unconditional love, but its a telemarketer trying to sell me something I dont need or want. My head is pounding and my stomach is grinding. My eyes are dry, and so are my thoughts. I am starting to think the only reason I am here is to be depressed. If the only reason for my existence is to be depressed, am I really the only one to blame?
I have held a secret from everyone, one secret and one secret only. I guess I thought of it as my very own personal belonging, something that nobody could take from me. I held my secret close to me, I cried with my secret every night. I swore I would take it to my grave, but I didnt. I told my secret to only one. I dont know why I did. I just know that I owed that person the right to know. Now I have nothing for myself. Everything I had is no longer mine. I now know I am the only one to blame.
I sit alone and wait for the phone to ring. I wait to her a loving voice. I wait to hear the words of an unconditional love. I sit and I wait. The phone doesnt ring. I check the phone every single minute, hoping the ringer is off and I missed the call, but the ringer is on, and I have no messages. Why do seconds seem like hours when youre in pain? Time stops and youre the only one who stands. I try so hard to detach myself from the phone, but I cant. I guess Im a glutton for punishment. I guess I like feeling like this. I guess I am the only one to blame.
I have lived my life pleasing others and hoping for the same in return. The opinions and advice from others only sound like mumbles. I dont understand their language and I dont want to. The phone rings and my heart pounds. I answer it hoping its that unconditional love, but its a telemarketer trying to sell me something I dont need or want. My head is pounding and my stomach is grinding. My eyes are dry, and so are my thoughts. I am starting to think the only reason I am here is to be depressed. If the only reason for my existence is to be depressed, am I really the only one to blame?
I have held a secret from everyone, one secret and one secret only. I guess I thought of it as my very own personal belonging, something that nobody could take from me. I held my secret close to me, I cried with my secret every night. I swore I would take it to my grave, but I didnt. I told my secret to only one. I dont know why I did. I just know that I owed that person the right to know. Now I have nothing for myself. Everything I had is no longer mine. I now know I am the only one to blame.