tattoosnscrews

... People say sometimes when you a searching for the root of any problem, you should write. Write until you lose all concept of time and space and realize you are having a conversation with the only person who knows you the best. Yourself. So here I am, writing and hoping to find the answers to my current situations in life.

.... Recently I have come to terms with the fact I must be carrying a lot of built up aggression, because things that were once be easy to brush off are now causing my fists to clinch tight. Tighter than they have ever been clinched. Some people think it's necessary to threaten your life, your household and attack your loved ones mentality. Some people think it's necessary to make promises that are easy broken and forgotten about. Some people think it's necessary to point there finger at you and demand you sink to their level. To those people I say only this. "Thank you, Thank you for your threats, Thank you for your Disrespect, Thank you for having enough balls to make your opinions be known. It is because of you the rage that was once dormant has now resurfaced and a long list of targets are going to feel it's wrath."

..... People tell me to "Calm Down," "Take it Easy," "Relax," "Chill Out," and you know what I say to them ... "I have been doing that for far to long!" I have been walked over, backstabbed, kicked when I was down, threatened, broken down, spit on, lied to and all together treated like shit. Some people mistake kindness for weakness. Some people think that the ones who smile and try to make the world a better place, are easy targets for humiliation and their foolish games. I have been too nice to the wrong people, and I am fucking fed up with liars and peoples idiotic opinions.

...... For far to long I have been living for others happiness and neglecting my own. For far to long I have let others in to keep them warm during the cold, only to be kicked in the chest when the sun starts to shine again. For far to long I have let my emotions spread amongst the vast abyss of people who take everything for granted. How do people become so cruel? Why is there so much cruelty, why is there so much pain? Why are there soldiers dying to protect us from being eliminated? Do we deserve this protection? Everything we create we destroy. Every good idea is eventually stolen. Every child's smile is eventually transformed into an adults depression. For far to long I have kept my mouth shut.

....... I woke up this morning and decided the road of the great unknown is far better than the road I have grown to dislike, hate and loathe. So what do I do? Where do I go? Who will be there when I reach my destination? I realized recently that no matter where I go I will be alone. The ones I have grown to love, have grown to love there surroundings. I can't be upset with them. I can't be upset. I admit it, I'm scared of what's on the other side of the door .. but I'm not scared enough to not open it. I just wish I didn't have to open it alone.

When you look to the sky, what do you see
I have seen passed the stars as well as the breeze
Only at fates first glance I could only see you
As reality has passed I can now only see me

My heart has bled the blood of a thousand tears
Inside my mind I hear the screams of a thousand fears
Throughout my soul I feel strength fading away fast
Beyond my own struggles I can only dawn on the past

When I look to the ground, what do I see
A shadow of what once was, staring over me
At Loves first glance I could only see you
As fantasy passes I am reminded its only me