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tarbaby

Member Since 2003

Followers 70 Following 70

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Wednesday Jul 09, 2003

Jul 9, 2003
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wow.
so yesterday i must have cried one thousand tears.
tears for lost friends,for lost loves,and for lost opportunities.
from the time i woke up until i finally fell asleep on my soaked pillow,i cried.
i don't know where they all came from,but i do know that it has been a long time since they came. i could do it again today too,but i'm holding it in. my eyes are too swollen and tired to let them go.
possible reasons for this are:
1) i need to get back to work. i've been idle now for much too long and i'm scared of my money being depleted.
2) onefoolishline is leaving the site next week. she isn't leaving for england until september so there is still time to be spent together. it has just hit me hard that my first friend off of the site will be going gray and her words will be going silent.
3) my heart is tired and wounded and i am longing for him. fyi: i am not seeing him this weekend.
4) i can't even find the energy to clean my house. the laundry has been sitting in the dryer clean for a week.
5) i miss my old house. i was talking to L this weekend about how i used to sit on the back porch in the middle of the night and smell the fresh bread baking at the place around the corner. the aroma would fill the air and the stars would fill the sky and for that moment all was right in the world.
i want that feeling again,if just for a second,where everything is good. where i know everything is going to be okay.

*poof*
surreal bok
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
juxlii:
*hug*

You kick so much ass that the upswing you are owed will be overwhelmingly wonderful. Hold on tight.
Jul 10, 2003
punt:
It looks as if I would have had to stand in the longest line if I was gonna give you a smooch up there in wine country!

Perhaps next time?

I really wish she had remembered though...damn.
Jul 10, 2003

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