tangledupinblue

I think, in some ways, I understand a lot of that romantic coupling of depression and artistry.

My life in many ways is to other eyes, very boring right now.

I am healthy, I spend a lot of time outdoors, work with a trainer I like, and though am dealing with some serious shit -- am dealing with it in a real way -- an adult non-angsty way.

Generally, I'm able, no matter the circumstance, to take a lot of joy in the extra 15 minutes of light we're getting, the music I'm listening too, the water in the shower and such as that.

I think at times like this, I tend to spend my free time with my friends, rather than hoping I can make a connection by writing alone for anyone else.

If I am amused by something, even if it's really something clever -- it's enough to be amused.

When I'm happy, it's hard to find something that is such a burning blade that I need to get it out, all the way out to the world in order for me to rest. It's enough to tell my girlfriend or my buddies or family.

It's not a lack of ambition, it's just that I'm a person given to contentment in the moments when I'm happy.

I know some people feel happy and look around and say what's next.

When I feel happy I look around and just say nothing.

I don't think either is wrong or right -- but I am more talkative when I am sad, or particularly when I'm terrified.

I imagine it's because I am trying to talk myself into something, or more likely afraid of the silence.

At any rate, silence is golden.


Later.