i have 2 half blue dreads, but someone i've liked for a long time told me they think i'm cute, so it's evened out i guess. i'm still not about to date anytime soon, i'm a little iffy about relationships, but it's still cool. (and yes blue dreads is bad. i HATE blue. idky. it's like yellow. that color just irks me. i like turquoise,...
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tallahassee:
oh and that loose hair in the second one is my bangs pulled off to the side in case you were wondering.
nitroboy:
i tried dreads years ago, but my totaly straight hairs could not aford dreads, it wasnt hang, so i shaved them after 1 month, my mom didnt recongnise me
is there a big flashing neon sign somewhere on my person that says "dump drama here?" or maybe "human punching bag" or "patsy for hire?" bc i have been drawn into the center of more pointless drama in the last week or so than any other week in my life, and it's stressing me out to the point where it's making the little things bother...
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rapalus:
Just isolate yourself from the world. Pulling a Chris McCandless always works...
b1gfatho:
You could do what I do and have no friends, then there's no drama! Of course the trade off is kind of a pain.
ok so the people i was referring to in my last blog completely missed my point, and everyone else apparently assumed it referred to them. you know what? i'm done with that. i'm not posting anymore mass messages in blog form in an effort to make things easier for myself unless i stop being such a nice person and leaving out names.
the important thing...
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the important thing...
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tevyn:
yyaaayyy!
i'm so excited!
ily. hang in there, honey.
i'm so excited!
ily. hang in there, honey.
tevyn:
i know hun. you're doing well. just keep your chin up. trust me, i know it's hard at times. but there's always light at the end of the tunnel.
that's it. i give up. i have completely lost the last bit of faith in humanity i had left. i never would have thought that something so petty could hurt so much. you people suck. you don't even see what you're doing to each other. no, not even just to me. if it was just me i wouldn't care. i don't like you anyway. but...
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tevyn:
i'm sure that i'll love it!!!!
don't be upset hun!
you can text me ANYTIME and i'll listen, okay?
don't be upset hun!
you can text me ANYTIME and i'll listen, okay?
i am in literally the EXACT same place with my life as i was a year ago today. nothing has changed, except that i've accomplished even less this year than last year. i have the same lack of friends, the same depression, and the same longing for a person and a life that i can never have. it feels just wonderful to know that i've...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
opaque:
thanks for the birthday wishes 
tevyn:
you didn't even have to do it in the first place, babe.
and i'm so grateful that you made me anything.
i'm not coping with the trust and stress issues too well, but i'm hoping it all gets better after i leave.
and i'm so grateful that you made me anything.
i'm not coping with the trust and stress issues too well, but i'm hoping it all gets better after i leave.
sorry i haven't been on a lot lately guys, been having a hard time the past week or so. first round of antipsych meds went horribly wrong to say the least. had a terrible reaction to it and got even more psychotic than before. starting some new ones on the 18th, lets hope it goes better next time. for right now, i'm just focusing on...
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b1gfatho:
Your good old happy self is my favorite version of you 
programchaos:
Don't worry about being gone. It's just good to know that you're alive!
is happee! no really. i have a busy ass day ahead of me, i need to find out who i have to beg to let me sign up for classes late this semester so i can get my life back on track. or rather start over. however you look at it, i'm finally moving in the direction of progress. i'll come back and explain the...
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your 3 last post sounded like 
personaljesus:
I hope it gets better!!!
i just got text message dumped. yep. i'm that loser who isn't even good enough for a phone call. how exactly did i get here?
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
unallocated:
Text message dumped... That's pretty poor :p On the bright side, that's embarrassing for him, not you - you're alright lady. So walk by him; he doesn't deserve you...
mjb67:
actually, speaks volumes about the dumper, not the dumpee.
you're much better off finding out he can't confront life's challenges sooner rather than later.
you're much better off finding out he can't confront life's challenges sooner rather than later.
i am going to kill my mother. it's been nice knowing you all, but i'm not sure if i can afford to keep my account while in prison. either way, it will be well worth not having to live with this miserable old hag anymore.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
nitroboy:
ok i dont really know your situation but i mean for tonight you need to change your ideas, i know we are just tuesday, but call back your friends, go dancing, drinking or to a show or to a stripclub maybe take your car (or your moms car) and go on a nowhere or to a restaurant or se a movie.... but change your ideas then you will see clearly... i promise
nitroboy:
bus, subway or a good walk
so the worst weekend ever has progressed into the rest of the week so far. i don't understand what the hell i did to piss off whatever god there is up there or out there or whatever, i've always tried to be a good person, but for whatever reason for the past year or so he/she/it has just fucked with me nonstop. before i was...
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lixor17:
I'm here... I read, I sympathize... but I don't know what to say about your situation.
I can, though, comment on depression, as I'm still working on mine (another few weeks will be 7 years since it smacked me upside the head.) Even after years of treatment, Yes, there are periods when I am lonely and wishing people would call -- and yet at the same time not feeling at all like going out or emailing or even just "lurking" and reading what other people are up to. What you describe is familiar to me, and unfortunately I don't know of any cure other than time.
Though talking to my therapist seems to help, even if it's just telling her that I'm in a bad mood and I don't know why, that nothing special happened... the relief isn't immediate, and those kind of sessions have me feeling unfocused and like nothing was "accomplished" (no 'solution' was found, no hidden problem rooted out and held up to the light)... but somehow it helps.
I ought to be feeling pretty bad, various stresses at home, not even getting much cuddling lately... and various members of my family are having a really rough time and there's nothing I can realistically do to help them... but I'm doing okay enough this week, ever since I dumped out my "down and I don't know why" at my therapist last week.
In regards to people not returning calls / messages... I read the blogs or postings of a number of people here and on some other sites, and hardly any of them are happy the last few months, and more people than not at work are unhappy about something. Mind you, my co-workers and the people on the other sites tend to be closer to my own age (or even about as old as my mother).... and our health is starting to get a bit wobbly and our parent's health is starting to become a major concern... and we or our relatives of the same generation are getting to Mid-Life Crisis kind of ages. A lot of people hurting these days... and if not due to their own direct problems, then due to trying to "support" or help people close to them who are having rough times.
Oh.... it's late. Well, I hope you made it to sleep, with peaceful dreams.
I can, though, comment on depression, as I'm still working on mine (another few weeks will be 7 years since it smacked me upside the head.) Even after years of treatment, Yes, there are periods when I am lonely and wishing people would call -- and yet at the same time not feeling at all like going out or emailing or even just "lurking" and reading what other people are up to. What you describe is familiar to me, and unfortunately I don't know of any cure other than time.
Though talking to my therapist seems to help, even if it's just telling her that I'm in a bad mood and I don't know why, that nothing special happened... the relief isn't immediate, and those kind of sessions have me feeling unfocused and like nothing was "accomplished" (no 'solution' was found, no hidden problem rooted out and held up to the light)... but somehow it helps.
I ought to be feeling pretty bad, various stresses at home, not even getting much cuddling lately... and various members of my family are having a really rough time and there's nothing I can realistically do to help them... but I'm doing okay enough this week, ever since I dumped out my "down and I don't know why" at my therapist last week.
In regards to people not returning calls / messages... I read the blogs or postings of a number of people here and on some other sites, and hardly any of them are happy the last few months, and more people than not at work are unhappy about something. Mind you, my co-workers and the people on the other sites tend to be closer to my own age (or even about as old as my mother).... and our health is starting to get a bit wobbly and our parent's health is starting to become a major concern... and we or our relatives of the same generation are getting to Mid-Life Crisis kind of ages. A lot of people hurting these days... and if not due to their own direct problems, then due to trying to "support" or help people close to them who are having rough times.
Oh.... it's late. Well, I hope you made it to sleep, with peaceful dreams.
remod66:
'tis not true... we do read--and I wish I could do more than send you good thoughts and hope things get better for you soon...