Tuesday Apr 05, 2005

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How do you go about delineating the difference between grieving and just moping? A couple close friends of mine have talked to me at length that I should spend time grieving the loss of E., observe the pain and the difficulty, and accept the loss for what it is.

I can't say that I disagree but by the same token I also don't want to get swept up into a pointless cycle of self-pity. It's true that I probably haven't spent enough time reflecting on the end of my relationship. But I also feel I did the right thing by ending the relationship and don't harbor regrets about it.

Still, I'm told that I need to look within and hold that pain so that I can really heal and move beyond it. And I'll admit that it fucking hurts, although I've done a damn good job of ignoring what's there, or at least thoroughly distracting myself from the real issues.

But when does grieving become moping? I don't want to mope.
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prettyb0y:
"Grief has limits, whereas apprehension has none. For we grieve only for what we know has happened, but we fear all that possibly may happen." - Pliny

I think the grief they're talking about is about moving on. It's future focused. Moping would be past focused, which would be a no-no. smile

"Grief is the agony of an instant. The indulgence of grief the blunder of a life."

yet,

"One often calms one's grief by recounting it." So I guess find the middle ground between the two. Find the pain that will help you grow, instead of the pain that will stunt you.

One last one. I acn't help myself.
"For pleasures past I do not grieve, nor perils gathering near;
My greatest grief is that I leave nothing that claims a tear."
- Lord "MutherFuckin" Byron
biggrin
girlblue:
Thank you! My plans are indeed LA final destination. I should land somewhere around April 14. Our journeys in life have more in common than you think, as my decision was set in stone a year ago when a lifelong commitment took a nosedive.

feel free to keep up here.

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