I'm an idiot.
I KNEW that the number one danger of being a waiter, besides starvation, was that I'd be walking around with tons of tiny, harmless small bills that seem so insignificant and easy to part with.

So I promised myself I would clear my wallet at the end of each shift. Stick it someplace else.

Countless beers, several meals where I picked up the tab, a couple of retarded Spawn toys and god knows what else later, it dawns on me that I really should have listened to myself.

Sigh. A couple of beers and a cheap dinner should help soothe the burn of this lesson learned.