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sxe_rudeboy

From Merrimac, M.A. Living in Effingham, N.H.

Member Since 2012

Followers 96 Following 749

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more shitty news.

Mar 10, 2014
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My grandmother just got transferred from the hospital to a nursing home today. She's under hospice comfort care only. They are taking her off iv and giving her morphine as she needs it. They're giving her about 2 weeks.

I went to see her tonight with the rest of my family. Not that I wanted to. Like I said in my previous blog, I deal with these things differently. She's more responsive than the last two times I saw her. My sister brought her kids and gram didn't want to let go of them. They're really too young to understand. The oldest is only 2 and a half.

My sister took pictures of her kids with my grandmother. I don't know if Ireally agree with that. I mean she has happy pictures of the kids with her why do you need pictures with her in the state she's in. To make my mom happy I took a picture with my grandma and sister. I don't agree with it, but it wasn't for me. I told my sister to keep it off of Facebook. People did the same with my Great Aunt Edna. They took pictures with her while smiling. I can't put a fake smile on to take a picture with a person I care about who is dying infront of my eyes.

I've gotten choked up but I haven't cried yet. I'm so stoic in front of people they must think I don't care at all. I'll breakdown eventually..it'll be in my truck with the radio on..it will just hit me.

I'm still sleeping at my Grandfather's every other night. I don't know what is going to happen when she does pass away. My grandfather is already heartbroken. Guess that's what happens when you're married for 57 years. I've never seen him like this. It's really tough to see the guy who is always cracking jokes this sad. :(.

At least spring is almost here...

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