swen

LOST
ALL FAITH
LOST
ALL TRUST
LOST
ALL FAITH
LOST
ALL TRUST

SO WITHDRAWN AND FEELING NUMB
WATCHING LIFE COME ALL UNDONE

MY LIFE
A DISARRAY
AND I
FADE AWAY

Burton C. Bell (Fear Factory)

I had a very strange weekend. Saturday my parents came by and brought me their old stereo as mine broke down a while ago. It needs some maintenance but its better than nothing. Then we together visited my 92 year old grandma. I like her very much, but its a pity her grasp to reality slowly fades away (though she is not in any way...
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So, that party in Bonn went pretty well. We had the finest weather possible, began dinking some Beer at the river-side where all the tourist-boats start their tours. Not much traffic when we started, but after some time (dont know exactly, lost track of it) we suddenly were surrounded by a huge crowd of very conservative seniors (about 150 people waiting for their boat) who...
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I finally made a learning-plan for my exams in august. Today was the first day of real harcore learning and I really made it. The next 98 days will go on like this, 25 pages a day (takes about 8h concentrated work). I just left sundays free.
I really don't enjoy that, but I have to make it for the sake of my selfesteem.
Saturday...
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"I smell lithium now."

Ok, I'm not feeling that bad today.
I resumed learnig for my exam in august and made some moderate progress.
Plus, I bought a cheap web-cam, so I can finally show an up-to-date picture of myself.
The best: I had a small e-mail exchange with Chloe! Not that I think she liked me, but

The pain is back, T-Rex kind of pain, as it feels. And I always thought I was king of pain. I'm certainly not. I cant take this any more.

[Edited.(Deleted some stupid lines.) Changed my mind when I got sober.]