susannahjoy

i feel like i'm drowning in my own body. like it's too big and it's just suffucating me. i cant breathe, i cant move, and i cant even cry out for help. it's like it's this seperate entity that masks who i really am from everyone else. so they see my body, but they cant see me dying inside of it. i just want freedom from it. i want to unattach myself from, well, myself. rise above it. i wish i could just fly away and leave this body here while i'm off in some other world where i dont have to feel anything or be anything and everyone can see me but it doesnt matter what i look like or who i am. it scares me to think that i might not ever get away. in the bible when you die you get a new body. i like that idea. too bad i dont believe in the bible. or anything for that matter. i am complete faithless. which is hard. everyone needs something to believe in. *sigh*