susannahjoy

Ok, so this is fun! three years ago i was raped, the guy, being the good little mormon that he is, went off to New Zealand for his missionary trip. i just got an invatation from him to go to his welcome home party. what the fuck is wrong with this guy? i am so freaked out about this. fucking bastard. i liked it better when he was on the other side of the planet. what if i run into him around town? what am i supposed to say to him? i'd like to just run away (for some odd reason i'm a bit uncomfortable around him) but i dont think that would be wise. i dunno. dammit. this is all too fucked up.
oh, and of course the only one that i can talk to about all this cuz he's the only one i told when it happend basically hates me so i cant talk to him. well, no, that's not really true. hate would imply way too much concern. he just couldn't give a damn about me anymore. i had some serious heart problems awhile ago and almost died and he laughed and said too bad, now quit bothering me. i know his address if anyone feels like being violent...

and just as i hit save my mom came in and announced that my sister's boyfriend, who was supposed to be going to japan yesterday (he's in the navy) never actually went cuz him and his best friend raped my sister's friend. his best friend is dating my cousin. well, was. WHY IS EVERYONE RAPING EVERYONE ELSE??? OMG!!! this world is getting way too scary.

And so what do i do to make myself feel better? i go shopping with my mom. yay! and steal shit! for the first time in years! god, that is such a stupid thing to do. it's just immature. but it was fun and i guess i feel better now? i dunno. i'm gonna go take some drugs now. fuck it all.