supergp

So now I'm sitting around waiting on any number of girls to call me back. I called Tanya, left a message on her machine. Tried calling Beth, got her voice mail again. Called Morganna, she's gonna call me back this weekend. Called Kristen, she must be out somewhere or asleep or something. Called Melanie, she's busy, but will call me tomorrow.

Damnit. Most of my friends are girls now, and still none of them are interested in me. Damnit! I'm a damn good guy. Pretty much every girl I've ever had a crush on has wound up doing much worse than me.

I should amend that. My real point is, I deserve so much better than I've gotten. So far I've had one girl kiss me (although she was so drugged up as to not remember it later) and one girl who told me that she loved me (and dated a friend instead). Damnit, I'm fucking awesome. I'm not THAT bad looking, I'm smart as all hell, I'm sensitive and caring, I'm basically what every girl SHOULD want. The problem is that what they say they want is entirely not what they're willing to sleep with. Or date. Or much else, for that matter. I'm so tired of being alone, and so sick of being told that the girl for me is coming, that I'm really starting to doubt my ability to make it until she shows up. The sad thing is, I'm not even looking for Ms. Right- I'd be happy with Ms. Right Now. All I want is someone to date for a little while. Let me get used to the idea. I know my first relationship is going to end and its going to hurt tremendously. So what? I'd just like to know that, for just a brief period of time, that I matter more than anyone else to someone. And I can't even get that.

So I guess I'm gonna go watch some movies on my projector now.

Also, I'm drunk, so that third paragraph may not be entirely coherent. It is, however, exactly how I feel.