You know, I'm not even particularly convinced that I ever had "it", but it was sure nice to get some looks at the grocery store today which suggested that just maybe I hadn't lost it.
There was one girl perusing the produce - with a boy on her arm, may I add - who shot me a couple of looks that were absolutely Seinfeldian in their precision.
Look, look away.
Look, look away.
Don't get me wrong - I'm happy in my relationship. But those ten second romances in the mall are still a sweet highlight. As I passed through the bookstore, there was a girl standing at one of the computers, and for the ten seconds it took me to pass en route to the Starbucks, she consumed me. It was never serious , of course. (I hope that goes without saying.) By the time I reached the grocery store, I couldn't remember a single detail about her except that she was wearing a green shirt. I think.
But that quick sensation - that momentary high, that thrill of something new and undiscovered - is always a nice feeling.
It's probably nowhere near as nice as waking up next to somebody special and talking about where you're going to get pancakes if you can ever bring yourselves to get out of bed. But it's still nice.
My ex came over tonight and we watched a few more episodes of the final season of Buffy. That always puts me in a strange headspace. I'm glad we're still friends. I couldn't imagine not having her around. She was my closest and dearest friend for a lot of years. But it's still a little weird to see her for only two hours a week, and say only the quickest goodbye at the end of the night. Plus, even though we're both in relationships and have moved on, I think she's burying the past faster than I am. It's not a good thing or a bad thing... it's just weird.
She's getting yanked around by the dealership that sold her her car. It's weird not getting to be the guy who gets to go over there and start raising hell on her behalf anymore.
This shit is complicated.
I want to be clear - I'm very happy with the girl, and these are completely unrelated things. As I told her the other week, you can still be happy where you are even if you have some regrets about where you were. Does that make sense to anybody other than me?
I threatened a while ago when throwing down with my New Year's resolutions that I would write a novel. (The safety measures I threw in were that it didn't have to be particularly long or particularly good, which ought to remove fear of failure from the equation. Expect shit, and it's hard to be disappointed.) With the place my head's been at lately... I'm worried it might come out as High Fidelity with Mike Doughty (I know, I know, I'm starfucking again but I can't help it) where Solomon Burke should be.
I still need to do an album, too. I expect SG collaborations all around.
Anyways, it's 1:30 in the morning, and I've got to get to bed. I've got one of those big "you dare not be even a second late" meetings first thing.
How's everybody doing?
There was one girl perusing the produce - with a boy on her arm, may I add - who shot me a couple of looks that were absolutely Seinfeldian in their precision.
Look, look away.
Look, look away.
Don't get me wrong - I'm happy in my relationship. But those ten second romances in the mall are still a sweet highlight. As I passed through the bookstore, there was a girl standing at one of the computers, and for the ten seconds it took me to pass en route to the Starbucks, she consumed me. It was never serious , of course. (I hope that goes without saying.) By the time I reached the grocery store, I couldn't remember a single detail about her except that she was wearing a green shirt. I think.
But that quick sensation - that momentary high, that thrill of something new and undiscovered - is always a nice feeling.
It's probably nowhere near as nice as waking up next to somebody special and talking about where you're going to get pancakes if you can ever bring yourselves to get out of bed. But it's still nice.
My ex came over tonight and we watched a few more episodes of the final season of Buffy. That always puts me in a strange headspace. I'm glad we're still friends. I couldn't imagine not having her around. She was my closest and dearest friend for a lot of years. But it's still a little weird to see her for only two hours a week, and say only the quickest goodbye at the end of the night. Plus, even though we're both in relationships and have moved on, I think she's burying the past faster than I am. It's not a good thing or a bad thing... it's just weird.
She's getting yanked around by the dealership that sold her her car. It's weird not getting to be the guy who gets to go over there and start raising hell on her behalf anymore.
This shit is complicated.
I want to be clear - I'm very happy with the girl, and these are completely unrelated things. As I told her the other week, you can still be happy where you are even if you have some regrets about where you were. Does that make sense to anybody other than me?
I threatened a while ago when throwing down with my New Year's resolutions that I would write a novel. (The safety measures I threw in were that it didn't have to be particularly long or particularly good, which ought to remove fear of failure from the equation. Expect shit, and it's hard to be disappointed.) With the place my head's been at lately... I'm worried it might come out as High Fidelity with Mike Doughty (I know, I know, I'm starfucking again but I can't help it) where Solomon Burke should be.
I still need to do an album, too. I expect SG collaborations all around.
Anyways, it's 1:30 in the morning, and I've got to get to bed. I've got one of those big "you dare not be even a second late" meetings first thing.
How's everybody doing?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
"What are we going to do now?"
-Final line of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(this may be too geekboy for you, but the commentary on that final episode by creator Joss Whedon is really well done and, I felt, adds a fair bit to watching it, especially the little speech he makes over that line).
further edit....oops! I read your thread again, and it looks like you haven't actually finished season VII. Silly me. I guess I gave away the ending. oops!)
[Edited on May 26, 2005 11:27PM]
[Edited on May 26, 2005 11:38PM]