today wasn't that bad, either...
work went smoothly. i went home for lunch and had a good conversation with my brother about her and girls in general... and he seemed to reinforce everything my friend and i talked about yesterday...
the past couple days i've been realizing that i haven't been happy with the situation i've been in, maybe i was just distracted enough to be content, but i wasn't truly happy... and neither was she. so, maybe we will be better off apart.
i've been more friendly and talkative the past few days. i've been realizing that i need to open up and make friends. which, is something i haven't done too much of in the past 5 or so years, because i based my whole world on her. which, i now realize, was the silly, wrong thing to do...
oh well, you live, you learn.
work went smoothly. i went home for lunch and had a good conversation with my brother about her and girls in general... and he seemed to reinforce everything my friend and i talked about yesterday...
the past couple days i've been realizing that i haven't been happy with the situation i've been in, maybe i was just distracted enough to be content, but i wasn't truly happy... and neither was she. so, maybe we will be better off apart.
i've been more friendly and talkative the past few days. i've been realizing that i need to open up and make friends. which, is something i haven't done too much of in the past 5 or so years, because i based my whole world on her. which, i now realize, was the silly, wrong thing to do...
oh well, you live, you learn.
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im waiting until after my interview tomorrow at the design school before i REALLY start looking for a job.
it sounds like we both need to get out more. *sigh*
next week end. thats it. im gonna go out, drink some cosmopolitains and be silly. i need a bit of that. besides, i need to celebrate changing directions in my life.
What I did after he moved out was write letters to him that I knew that I'd never send. I wanted to call him so many times that it was physically painful. I thought I was really going to die of a broken heart. After about two weeks of spilling my uncensored feelings into these letters. I noticed that I started writing less and less and it was becoming annoying to take time out to focus my energy on thinking of him.
It was kind of like that cartoon (Porky Pig?) when the nephew wants to smoke so Porky makes him smoke a ton of cigarettes thus making him so sick that he didn't want to smoke anymore.
It's so difficult to move on when a person has been so woven into your daily life, but I am living proof that it can be done. He still crosses my mind once in a while, but it doesn't cause the longing or pain that it used to. I just think about what I learned about myself in that relationship and that I now know what I DON'T want for future relationships. It's become a positive thing for me now.
Stay strong. I will send you good thoughts and emtional hugs. I'm here if you ever want/need to vent. I mean that.