superficial

today was a pretty good day...

i had a good conversation with a mutual friend of ours... and he told me that basically he thought that we (me and her) would be happier apart. he said that he's always felt that we weren't compatible... and the way he said it, it felt like he was on my side, while still being compassionate toward her side... which was good, because i didn't feel i had to get defensive either way... ('cause i still have a tendancy to defend her) anyway, we discussed how she felt it was her duty to "help" me, which meant to "help" me be what she felt i should be... now, i know i made mistakes... but i was overall happy with my life. i didn't like my job, but it made it possible for me to see her whenever she wanted me to... etc... the more she pushed me toward what she wanted, the more i pushed toward what i wanted to do... what i thought i should be doing, we lost the compromise that we had in the beginning 4-ish years of our relationship...

basically, though, we came to the conclusion that sometimes love just isn't enough... wait wasn't that a song or something?

i just hope that someone down the line doesn't hurt her like she deserves to be hurt. not really, i'm just kidding... i don't think she deserves to be hurt... i just think she can be a handful. and i could deal with that, possibly better than anyone else in the world... but, that's another matter entirely. i love her, i will forever, but for now at least it's not meant to be.