sunflash

I fucking hate PTSD!

I am a grown man and should not be stuck in my own head so bad as to wake up remembering entire nightmares so badly that I have to draw my pistol and clear the whole house and then take the gun and the dog just to go to the outhouse to pee. I shouldn't even be having nightmares to begin with, I'm too old for that shit.

I just don't get it. The nightmare had nothing to do what anything that happend but it had that same overwhelming power over me and I woke up sweeting just the same and parinoid. The girfriend didn't even notice and I couldn't seem to wake her. I thought it would comfort me to have here her to sleep next too but this is the first untriggerd nightmare in months. I just wish all of this crap would do away. I had really been thinking that this shit was done but yet here I am wide awake wasting more of the measly seven hours I could have slept tonight cause I am too damn paranoid to go back to sleep. When will all of this crap just be done.