sunflash

OK so I have been totally horrible about updating... I know no exscuse and all but hell it had taken a debilitating hospitalizing sickness to get me to sit down and write. So this whole sickness thing first. I have been sick at least once a week for almost three months now. From little stuff like a cough and the head cold I have had for two and a hlf months continuesly to the spending whole weekends doing nothing but pucking and shitting for hours. not exactly fun but life none the less as of late. Well this all culminated in me having to leave work and drive myself to the ER yesterday with intense abdominal pain. Well it turns out it was a fast hard hitting form of gastro-interitois and not as world ending as it could have been. Well now the Doc and i were talking and it turns out that a lot of the returning veterans have been getting hit like this though most happened 8-12 weeks after return not for two months three to four months after return. In his words its too soon to know if there will be a gulf war II syndrom like with the first gulf war. Well all in all it got me nothing but a lot of meds and an overnight stay courtisey of the US Army.

And now onto the happier updates, or at least mostly happier...

Well I went ahead and got my self a new to me motorcycle last week and am so happy I did. I made an excuse to my self that I was doing it to save on gas and to have a begginers bike on hand for Michelle to learn on but really it was because I missed riding all the time. Ya the others are true as well but I just needed the R&R.

Speaking of R&R I think I may be killing myself with work and responsibilitie. I keep trying to find things that make me happy and they are becoming fewer and farther between. I am fast to anger again like I used to be and the sickness is certainly not helping. I keep trying to be happy and I just seem to have less and less control over my moods than before. The SCA is a great help but as of late it has been stressing me out more and more as time goes by. I just seem to have a lot to do and I never seem to get it all done. Add to it the fact that certain people seem to think that I should be doing things for them instead of helping them and it all adds up to more un-needed stress. I think I just need to find a way to blow of steam more throughly as of late.

So the new job is still going, where I am not sure but its going. The pay is ok but I am starting to realize that I really don't care for the job. I should as its all stuff I love to do but I am just tired when I am there and I never seem to be getting any better. Ya the bosses are happy and all but I am not so sure I am. I think I am going to go back to activly job hunting to see if I can find something I like better. I just think that for as exausted as it makes me and as demanding as the job is I should be making more than $14 and hour.

I am almost done with Phisical therapy as well. Though I am not back at my overly flexable level I am back at what most people live their lives with so the doctors think that is enough. I am still over a month away from being allowed to do even one push-up or basic shest and shoulder weight lifting. To me this may be the most frustrating thing about this whole shoulder ordeal. The pain was one thing but this lack of ability to lead my life like a normal person is killing me.

Well now that I have rambled on forever and tried to make up for a month of none communication I hope you all are well. I will post som pictures and stuff soon so you all can see the change to civilian instead of Army me. Best of wishes and I hope you all are well.