I have to start over today. Again. I lost a huge piece of myself and it seems like people can actually see through the gaping hole. I guess it has been gone for a long time. But there is a difference when you actually finally acknowledge that it is gone forever. So I have two choices here. I could fold. That would entail just laying down and dying. I've come damn near that. Or I could force myself to "move on." (A term I fucking hate today.)
Or maybe for now I could choose someplace in between. I could exist in that space between. I don't have to really do one thing or another. . . I could just... be. That's so yoga. Maybe they are on to something.
For now ... I'm just going to find a reason to get through every minute of every hour of every day. For right now - it's posting this. The next minute - who knows. But I'll go minute by minute.
I think there could be good things ahead. I think I'd be cheating myself if I folded my hand just yet.
Or maybe for now I could choose someplace in between. I could exist in that space between. I don't have to really do one thing or another. . . I could just... be. That's so yoga. Maybe they are on to something.
For now ... I'm just going to find a reason to get through every minute of every hour of every day. For right now - it's posting this. The next minute - who knows. But I'll go minute by minute.
I think there could be good things ahead. I think I'd be cheating myself if I folded my hand just yet.