A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom. Funny thing was, they were all just pictures of me.
"Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear." - Baruch Spinoza
I didn't sleep very well last night. So this morning I put Monster energy drinks in my coffee. I was halfway to work when I realized I'd forgotten my car.
"2015 is the year I get my shit together. It's also the year I redefine what "my shit" is. - Ron White
I will turn 60 tomorrow. I may actually, officially, be too old for this shit.
"Well done is better than well said." - Benjamin Franklin
