Simple ways to be happy (with acerbic commentary)
1. Be your own BFF (masturbate, masturbate, masturbate)
2. Smile, snigger, giggle or chuckle (see #1)
3. Warm up your tootsies (better yet someone else's by holding their feet to the fire for a change)
4. Sing out loud (gotta be kidding, I'd rather really punch a tiger in the face)
5. Indulge in dark chocolate (no problem there)
6. Expect a miracle (or Cialis)
7. Laugh at your shortcomings (#1 again)
8. Sleep baby sleep -or-
9. Wake up early (make up your fucking mind)
10. Grow a garden (a herbal garden nudge nudge)
11. Create a positive affirmation ( I know a lot of people are assholes) is there any such thing as negative affirmation? seems like a contradiction in terms, like hamburger steak or military intelligence)
12. Pencil in "quiet" time (more masturbation)
13. Take a catnap
14. Accept what you cannot change
Have a great Monday if indeed such a thing is possible (see #6)
TFPA BGINTA
1. Be your own BFF (masturbate, masturbate, masturbate)
2. Smile, snigger, giggle or chuckle (see #1)
3. Warm up your tootsies (better yet someone else's by holding their feet to the fire for a change)
4. Sing out loud (gotta be kidding, I'd rather really punch a tiger in the face)
5. Indulge in dark chocolate (no problem there)
6. Expect a miracle (or Cialis)
7. Laugh at your shortcomings (#1 again)
8. Sleep baby sleep -or-
9. Wake up early (make up your fucking mind)
10. Grow a garden (a herbal garden nudge nudge)
11. Create a positive affirmation ( I know a lot of people are assholes) is there any such thing as negative affirmation? seems like a contradiction in terms, like hamburger steak or military intelligence)
12. Pencil in "quiet" time (more masturbation)
13. Take a catnap
14. Accept what you cannot change
Have a great Monday if indeed such a thing is possible (see #6)
TFPA BGINTA
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
rarhas:
fascinating. . .
rawnie:
I like your blog. I love making lists haha. thanks for the add
