Hello all!
Just needing to get some stuff off my chest.
Life has been out of control stressful lately. My mom finally told her husband that the marriage is over. She was trying to make it work for 6 months now. But it just wasn't going to happen. So, on Sunday they got into a fight and she just told him it was over. So now it’s like all out in the open and now they are talking about what to do with the house and my mom wants to find and new house to buy right away she doesn't want to rent at all. That is the stressful thing to me. I wanted to move out on my own again but with all this happening I might have to help her buy a new house. That doesn't bother me but the daunting feeling buying a house........ it’s scary to me. I mean I make good money but I have school loans and they aren't small. even paying rent would be living pay check to pay check really that's why I hadn't moved out yet. I was hoping to get the chance to deal with one of my loans by getting it refinanced so I could get a lower interest rate and lower monthly payment. Sallie Mae/Navient is a fucking nightmare. I wish I would have never taken out this loan. Its killing me to pay and know I’ll never get it paid off with a 12% interest rate.
I don't know what to do at this point. I want my own space but I can’t leave my mom high and dry. I keep telling here we will find a super cute like duplex for sale and she can have one side and I’ll have the other. lol who knows though.
my anxiety is very high right now. literally all I wanna do is lay and bed and do nothing. but I also want to play video games, clean, bake snacks, and much more but I am not motivated any more...... I haven't even wanted to paint my nails. I get in these ruts of "why bother". nothing seems to help them either. I’ve even forces myself to do things and I just can’t concentrate when I do that. I don't know who to ask for help with this. I don't know if I need to see one of my doctors or if I need to see a psychiatrist or what but I want this to stop. I want to feel normal again. not a ball of anxiety/pain/indecisive/panic/irritation/confusion. I just want to feel like I'm stable and doing the correct things in life.
