su

i know i've said it before, but fuck it, it's my journal and this is what's on my mind right now.

I dislike having to be forcibly nice to people. or having to try to engraciate myself to them. take me as I am! if you don't like my attitude then thats fine, nothing saying we have to be friends.
what's worse?
if you're offended by my lack of speech, or that I don't talk about stupid inane BS, oh well.
but I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just so you don't feel uncomfortable.

when I meet people I'm instantly turned off by someone who seems like they are just putting on a "face." the face that they use when meeting people.

I'm really not pissed. I'm not. I am annoyed, but not upset

so where did this come from?
As I was putting away my laundry I started thinking about living in Phoenix, which I plan to do soon. and then I thought about my fiancee. and then I thought about my future in-laws, who don't like me. or at least don't like me much. why? b/c the one time I met them I didn't talk much at all.
oh well.

yes I should try to be more outgoing when I next see them. the only problem there is that whenever I try something like that it always backfires, really pisses me off, and then I revert back to not talking to anyone.

gah.

I'm going to go work on my halloween costume some more...

trying to think up a new SuicideBoys set...


& now my nails match