I had a friend,
a friend for 6 years. He was my best friend.
Then one day in early February of 1999 I experienced a most unpleasant circumstance. And when I needed my friend the most, he turned his back on me.
I hadn't heard from him all the rest of that year.
and not one peep for the last six years, until today.
He has come to work at my job. and he's all smiles, and even said "hi" to me twice. All I did was ignore him.
I really wanted to turn around, look at him for a moment, and then begin to talk to someone else. I don't know what that would prove. Did I want him to feel that emptiness? The thought of, "I know this person, why won't he acknowledge me?"
Maybe.
But I don't think that would adequately convey what I felt then, or how I feel now.
When I needed my friend, he wasn't there. It was as if he never knew me. Never cared. Wasn't even curious. His life couldn't be bothered.
That's how I feel now. My life can't be bothered by this half-man.
Do I want to cause him any physical harm?
No.
That would get me nowhere.
It's been six years, and I can't let this go.
I can't give up on my friends, my friends now, that easily. When my friends suffer, I suffer--I wouldn't have it any other way. When they need me, I'll stand by them until it kills me, because I know they would do so for me.
I can't let this person drag me down. I can't be bothered by his life, because he is not my friend. I refuse to acknowledge his presence.
a friend for 6 years. He was my best friend.
Then one day in early February of 1999 I experienced a most unpleasant circumstance. And when I needed my friend the most, he turned his back on me.
I hadn't heard from him all the rest of that year.
and not one peep for the last six years, until today.
He has come to work at my job. and he's all smiles, and even said "hi" to me twice. All I did was ignore him.
I really wanted to turn around, look at him for a moment, and then begin to talk to someone else. I don't know what that would prove. Did I want him to feel that emptiness? The thought of, "I know this person, why won't he acknowledge me?"
Maybe.
But I don't think that would adequately convey what I felt then, or how I feel now.
When I needed my friend, he wasn't there. It was as if he never knew me. Never cared. Wasn't even curious. His life couldn't be bothered.
That's how I feel now. My life can't be bothered by this half-man.
Do I want to cause him any physical harm?
No.
That would get me nowhere.
It's been six years, and I can't let this go.
I can't give up on my friends, my friends now, that easily. When my friends suffer, I suffer--I wouldn't have it any other way. When they need me, I'll stand by them until it kills me, because I know they would do so for me.
I can't let this person drag me down. I can't be bothered by his life, because he is not my friend. I refuse to acknowledge his presence.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
paincake:
Feeling don't go away... I've been burned by people. A good friend of mine from college did something like that. I mean.. acted strange and we lost contact. The situation is complex.. but the end result is nothing for like 6 years. Then one day I'm visiting my home town and the independent theater is playing a movie was going to. He was at the door.. I was shocked.. I said "uh.. hey.. you work here".. he says.."no.. I directed the film". Turns out I read the inital draft like 7 years earlier. We had a beer afterwards.. I said "keep in touch". I called him the next day before I left to come back to Cali... never heard from him then or since. :-/
lx:
I'm loyal to the end. I don't have many friends, but they will always have my loyalty in good or bad times.