LIVE FAST! Die Out of Town...
since they say speak no evil against the dead
i shall refrain from railing against the year that has most recently passed.
save to say "you tore me asunder..."
perspective is a well-honed double edged blade.
true, deep and abiding love
can bring its wicked stepsister to the after-party:
heartbreak like death by a million paper cuts...
i never believed in love at first sight
neither did she.
we had no choice to admit it
it's like the first time you see a ghost.
and ghosts are all i have right now.
by light years, this was the loveliest, easiest, nurturing relationship either of us ever had.
we were home and we were family and we had plans, dreams and they were entwined
just like our hands at every single opportunity.
and for me, a year darkened by mileposts and by too much death and by crippling debt
but you were always my light
and you were always my heart and my breath and you put smiles on my face that reached to my fingertips and beyond.
and i was always nothing but true to you...
and for you, the constant NEED to be moving, to be doing, to take on this and take on that
and so much of it good for you
and you amazed me with what you could accomplish
but when the planets crashed and we finally had to steer the ship
you had turned off your radio
and you didn't look to the course we had charted together...
and now all that magic has slipped through our fingers
and the sense of loss
YOU: my soul, my heart, my friend
are gone.
and i am gone from you.
and you wrote that someday i would agree
and you wrote that someday i would understand
and i pray you are right, but that is work i -- and i alone -- must do for me.
but what i know
and that one day you shall agree, and you shall understand is that:
what we had and what we shared and what we could have done together to make each stronger, better and more loving is not stuff that comes along save for being pre-ordained, such as we were.
and it only makes me sad for you
for me
for us
to know we had that and now we don't.
you will always have a sacred place in my heart
but right now, i have no idea how or when i will ever be able to access it.
i love you as i've loved no other
and
i know you loved me as never before...
my heart is shattered but i will take care of that
i am devastated with sadness
but all the tears must be washing that out of me...
always and never
brian
since they say speak no evil against the dead
i shall refrain from railing against the year that has most recently passed.
save to say "you tore me asunder..."
perspective is a well-honed double edged blade.
true, deep and abiding love
can bring its wicked stepsister to the after-party:
heartbreak like death by a million paper cuts...
i never believed in love at first sight
neither did she.
we had no choice to admit it
it's like the first time you see a ghost.
and ghosts are all i have right now.
by light years, this was the loveliest, easiest, nurturing relationship either of us ever had.
we were home and we were family and we had plans, dreams and they were entwined
just like our hands at every single opportunity.
and for me, a year darkened by mileposts and by too much death and by crippling debt
but you were always my light
and you were always my heart and my breath and you put smiles on my face that reached to my fingertips and beyond.
and i was always nothing but true to you...
and for you, the constant NEED to be moving, to be doing, to take on this and take on that
and so much of it good for you
and you amazed me with what you could accomplish
but when the planets crashed and we finally had to steer the ship
you had turned off your radio
and you didn't look to the course we had charted together...
and now all that magic has slipped through our fingers
and the sense of loss
YOU: my soul, my heart, my friend
are gone.
and i am gone from you.
and you wrote that someday i would agree
and you wrote that someday i would understand
and i pray you are right, but that is work i -- and i alone -- must do for me.
but what i know
and that one day you shall agree, and you shall understand is that:
what we had and what we shared and what we could have done together to make each stronger, better and more loving is not stuff that comes along save for being pre-ordained, such as we were.
and it only makes me sad for you
for me
for us
to know we had that and now we don't.
you will always have a sacred place in my heart
but right now, i have no idea how or when i will ever be able to access it.
i love you as i've loved no other
and
i know you loved me as never before...
my heart is shattered but i will take care of that
i am devastated with sadness
but all the tears must be washing that out of me...
always and never
brian
i wrote some words to burn last night
and somehow, the paper i chose refused to burn by ordinary means,
it took some drastic measures, but like so much, they are ash now...
and the pictures have all been hidden from my eyes
and i can never listen to the national again (thanks)
and i was supposed to kiss you at midnight
like last year and for years to come
i didn't want to kiss anyone else...
b.