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studentdriver

Indianapolis, IN

Member Since 2004

Followers 19 Following 14

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Friday Sep 21, 2007

Sep 21, 2007
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As usual, a while since my last post. Anyway.

Not much is going on, really... exhausted with work and school. Taking four courses this semester-- Philosophy 418 (Hume's Skepticism), Math 463 (Abstract Algebra), Sociology 100 (Intro), UCOL 204 (Mentoring: Independent Research). 10 credit hours in all, a little much on top of working and doing the supplemental instruction for logic, but I'm surviving thus far, and getting As.

Phil 418 is my first introduction to non-logic philosophy, and I'm still wondering what I'm doing jumping head-first into 400-level stuff. i'm a bit lost in class, though I find the lectures and discussions a bit fascinating. I've tried to talk about this fascination with others outside of class, people like Tony or whomever. They don't get it; partly because my explanations are woefully inadequate, and partly because I find more and more that most people just don't care to spend their time thinking about intangible things. Can't blame 'em.

...

So, around May I made one last attempt to get ahold of Heather, to no avail... so mentally I finally gave in to what was apparent over a year ago; she's gone. I think one of the reasons I refused to own up to this was that ireally dislike the fear, trepidation, and stupid games involved with being back at square one, trying to flirt, but not overtly, being afraid to ask if someone's single, etc.

Anyway. A couple of fascination objects have been around the past few weeks; one's far too young, one's more my age. Once again, there's that dichotomy between the cute preppy business girl and the cute punk-rock girl. Yay. Of course, I'm too chicken to do more than lightly flirt and talk with them... I've tried this new way of thinking, the "be more open to the possibility they're flirting back" thing, and it sure feels like they're reciprocating, but alas. I'm stuck in idle.

The punk one finally opened up today about how stressful her life's been, etc. She just dropped out of college, is having family problems, etc. :/ Of course, I got into "aww, let me protect you!" mode, a dangerous place to be. I should know from experience that it's that thinking that has made me so easy to use in the past... so I kept quiet. Then again, I still regret missing out on someone from my past who triggered that protectiveness...

I started probing around while talking to the cute preppy one (she's in my math class, and has made it a point to sit next to me, scooting her desk against mine each time), but haven't been able to get a hint of a boyfriend or a social life. You'd think it'd be easy to do the "hey, let's get together to study for the exam!" line, but it doesn't come out of my mouth that way.

Ah well. Back in the market, and feeling just like I did at 18.

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