i just dont know what to do with myself anymore. im watching my life waste away and feel so helpless about it. its like im watching it happen to someone else. i keep saying next week will be different. but its not. and the weeks have turned into months. ive always been extremely insecure. the one thing i was sure about is my work. i knew i was a talented designer and would amount to something. but i havent. and at this point, i dont see it happening. why wont someone just take that leap of faith on me. i know it would pay off. but now, ive lost my confidence in that too. i have nothing left. so i just sleep. and when i wake up, i go back to sleep. it feels like thats all i have to offer the world anymore. im tired of feeling so fucking depressed. but im too tired to do anything about it.
i used to keep a journal. i would force myself to write in it, even when i didnt have the energy to do it anymore. it wasnt a journal of daily events or anything. i think i kept it as a record of my descent into insanity. i havent read it in years. its too painful. i broke it out last night, and cried as i read it. i havent changed a bit.
i used to keep a journal. i would force myself to write in it, even when i didnt have the energy to do it anymore. it wasnt a journal of daily events or anything. i think i kept it as a record of my descent into insanity. i havent read it in years. its too painful. i broke it out last night, and cried as i read it. i havent changed a bit.
and yes it is that simple.