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Hope you're feeling better soon.
I'll answer all the questions in your comment in my journal.
but that stuff is sooo hard! and like awareness "thinking"/mental processes while doing sitting meditation buddhist style, I tend to forget that that is what I'm doing -- watching, and get carried away with the aversions/desires/torpor, the whole kit and caboodle process of sitting there going F+ck my arms really hurt in this pose, or crap, I think I'm going to fall over.
and then I get that momet of - wow that was a really unserene thought/,moment and feel terrible about my lowliness as a spiritual being instead of just noting it and moving on.....
I like iyengyar yoga alot-- though I only know it from books- they have a klot of "restorative " type poses included in there stuff-- like supported back bends over a chair/bench/ poses supported with bolsters.
It's hard for me to pinpoint but I think the thing that irks me about bikram classes ultimately is their lack of creativity-- the poses are always always the same, and there isn't alot of room for adjustment. plus, `it might be sour grapes since I can't afford them.
I've decided to try and write about the internal intoverted world more. I find I have this barrier to describing the inner layers of things-- first there is the dificulty in communicating these things-- like zen- can you really say it in words? Then there is the whole non-touching family background I come from, and our social inheritance as cultural descendants of the puritans- We tend to ignore the body-- as much as we can.
maybe this will make for boring nonsense writing, maybe very solipsistic stuff. I dunno.
anyway,
we have blah weather too. The road was a sheet of Ice when I came home from work this morning. and the whole dark at 4:20 thing. What is this norway?