squeak

We all knew this was coming....

Gosh! To tell you the truth, I'm surprised it took me this long to get around to doing this rant! This is when you know I'm busy...I mean, REALLY busy....when I don't have time to rant about this, you know my life is beyond hectic! On to the rant....

Gambit.

Oh yes....my beloved X-Man. The first man I ever had a crush on, the first man I ever masturbated to, the only man I still fantasize about. Why oh why does he have to be pen and ink?? *sigh*
In the words of Brad Pitt; "Noids don't have sex with Doodles, it's the law!"

Well....rules were meant to be broken and it appears I have found my way around them....



The lovely Taylor Kitsch is all set and signed to play the part of Gambit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. With a body like that, they can just save some money on costuming and simply cover him in paint!! Lordy!


A constant battle now rages between my mind and my genitals.

See....my geeky comic-loving brain is crying out, "But Gambit has nothing to do with Wolverine's origins!"

But my loins are crying out, "Who the f*** cares??? The man is hot and he is playing Gambit!!"


Hmmm.....what to do, what to do???
You see....it would be blatant disregard of the rules of comic geekdom if I didn't criticize and completely pick apart everything they are doing wrong in this movie. It is far from being released and I can already name at least a dozen or more things that are just wrong wrong WRONG! Most comic lovers are well aware of Wolverine's origins and I can tell you, neither Beak nor Gambit had anything to do with it! I mean, when and where is this all supposed to take place??
To me, throwing Gambit in there is just telling me that they are desperate for fan approval. Why else would he be in a Wolverine movie?? They just want people to stop bitching about Gambit not being in any of the X-Men movies...so they throw him into this one. But at what cost?? To a true comic fan, is it worth the price of completely messing up the true history and origins of the character??

On the other hand....god DAMN Taylor Kitsch is hot....I would love to see him don that hot pink and black spandex costume, put on a guttural French accent, and flex that fine ass body on the big screen. I hope this movie is being released in the winter time so it won't look suspicious if I throw my coat over my lap......if you know what I mean...*wink wink*

So you see my problem...

It is the classic struggle between rational thought and the most basic human instincts. I am merely the vessel in which this battle must take place. I shall let you all know the outcome.

Hmmm....I wonder if it is possible to be completely apalled and turned on at the same time......