Dear President Bush,
Today you decided to have one of your Presidential News Conferences on NBC during the hour in which the Martha Stewart show is normally on. Perhaps you did not realize that today was to be her Valentine's Day Special and she had invited some of the winners from the Westminster Dog show as guests. There was also to be a French Bulldog (my personal favorite) in a pink outfit of some sort.
There were some people, namely me, who had waited all week for this episode to air. There were also some people, again...me, who had to wake up quite early in order to see this episode of Martha.
I ask that in the future you try to be a bit more sensitive to the needs of others. Today's conference was not anything so important that it couldn't have waited until later. From now on you may want to more carefully consider what needs to be said right away and what can wait until a more appropriate time. If you seem to be having trouble making this judgment call, please do not hesitate to contact me.
If it ever becomes absolutely necessary for something like this to happen again, perhaps maybe we can come to some kind of compromise. That way, you could get your message to the world out in a precise and timely fashion, and we could all still watch bulldogs dressed in pink on the Martha show.
Some of my suggestions are as follows:
1. Menu Options- Have the cable companies present viewers with a quick "choose your own adventure" type menu. If you would like to hear the President talk about Iraq, press 1. If you would like to learn how to make Crme Brule, press 2.
2. Buy out the commercial blocks during Martha's show and hold your conference during the regularly scheduled commercial breaks. This would be a wonderful chance for you to learn how to sum up your points in only a few quick sentences.
3. You could make a quick guest appearance on the Martha show. You could talk about your concerns for the country with Martha and maybe take some questions from her audience instead of the news reporters. Oh! You could even come in with a dog dressed in a suit with a likeness to your own. People would love that.
4. You could have Martha do your Presidential speeches for you. She has a wonderful, commanding way about her, she is a talented public speaker....and people like her better.
In conclusion, Mr. Bush, I ask that you please try to be more considerate when it comes to the needs of the country. We are a simple people who care not for warfare and worldly problems. We care about the little things that really make life worth living...like bulldogs dressed in ridiculous clothing or the perfect recipe for cake icing. By taking these things away from us, you take away our happiness, our humanity. Well, I am here to tell you that we will no longer stand by idly as you rape the TV timeslots with your huge ego and bad humor. You must learn to put your own selfish needs aside and work with us, not against us.
Mr. President, you must learn to respect Martha Stewart.
Your friend,
Squeak
PS. Oh, yeah...and I want that $10 back that I donated to the Republican committee last year.
Today you decided to have one of your Presidential News Conferences on NBC during the hour in which the Martha Stewart show is normally on. Perhaps you did not realize that today was to be her Valentine's Day Special and she had invited some of the winners from the Westminster Dog show as guests. There was also to be a French Bulldog (my personal favorite) in a pink outfit of some sort.
There were some people, namely me, who had waited all week for this episode to air. There were also some people, again...me, who had to wake up quite early in order to see this episode of Martha.
I ask that in the future you try to be a bit more sensitive to the needs of others. Today's conference was not anything so important that it couldn't have waited until later. From now on you may want to more carefully consider what needs to be said right away and what can wait until a more appropriate time. If you seem to be having trouble making this judgment call, please do not hesitate to contact me.
If it ever becomes absolutely necessary for something like this to happen again, perhaps maybe we can come to some kind of compromise. That way, you could get your message to the world out in a precise and timely fashion, and we could all still watch bulldogs dressed in pink on the Martha show.
Some of my suggestions are as follows:
1. Menu Options- Have the cable companies present viewers with a quick "choose your own adventure" type menu. If you would like to hear the President talk about Iraq, press 1. If you would like to learn how to make Crme Brule, press 2.
2. Buy out the commercial blocks during Martha's show and hold your conference during the regularly scheduled commercial breaks. This would be a wonderful chance for you to learn how to sum up your points in only a few quick sentences.
3. You could make a quick guest appearance on the Martha show. You could talk about your concerns for the country with Martha and maybe take some questions from her audience instead of the news reporters. Oh! You could even come in with a dog dressed in a suit with a likeness to your own. People would love that.
4. You could have Martha do your Presidential speeches for you. She has a wonderful, commanding way about her, she is a talented public speaker....and people like her better.
In conclusion, Mr. Bush, I ask that you please try to be more considerate when it comes to the needs of the country. We are a simple people who care not for warfare and worldly problems. We care about the little things that really make life worth living...like bulldogs dressed in ridiculous clothing or the perfect recipe for cake icing. By taking these things away from us, you take away our happiness, our humanity. Well, I am here to tell you that we will no longer stand by idly as you rape the TV timeslots with your huge ego and bad humor. You must learn to put your own selfish needs aside and work with us, not against us.
Mr. President, you must learn to respect Martha Stewart.
Your friend,
Squeak
PS. Oh, yeah...and I want that $10 back that I donated to the Republican committee last year.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
aldremech:
That is the funniest thing I have seen all day. Thanks 
jedson:
Brava!