spiffy

So I don't post a new blog in over three months, and look at the news I have to share right now. I'm sitting in a Toronto hotel room, typing away at this blog. I'm here because I won a trip to a racing school through work, and I should be so fucking thrilled I don't even know which way to turn.

But I'm not.

I'm sitting here, tapping away on my cell phone and laptop, and I'm breaking up with my girlfriend. We've both seen this coming for a while now, but for the longest time, we were almost in denial about the whole thing--pretending things were OK when they weren't. This won't be one of those "We should remain friends" types of breakups. I have a feeling that I'll get home and she'll have pawned off my copy of Guitar Hero and burned all of my stuff that can't be sold. I don't even want to think about what she'd do with my spare set of car keys.

I can't say that the blame is on her, and I don't think that it's all on me, either. It's one of those--in my case, anyway--times where you "fall out of love". She's a great girl, but the thought of even thinking of committing myself to her is horrifying--in a year we'd end up cheating on each other or something like that, yet still pretending that the world is fine, everything is OK. I'll be damned if I get the first divorce in the family. I think one of the hardest parts is that I'm (we're?) doing it by text message, which I absolutely hate.

*Sigh*

I saw this coming, but it still doesn't make it any easier.