So i guess I have all my accommodations set. Just have to pack but that part can wait a little longer.
My auntie passed away two weeks ago in Seattle. I wish I could say that I fell apart at the news. I was having a pretty rough day at work putting out other peoples fires when the call came in.
She passed away that morning 3000 miles away. I should have been more torn..I still feel guilty that my legs didn't buckle and my stomach didn't feel like I should vomit. She had cancer, she has been fighting it for a while and she already beat it twice. This time...
This time...
This time it also effected her brain. So, you could say I was braced. Sometimes people feel guilty for not feeling worse, for letting the pain to be less dull as you get used to the idea you lost/going to lose somebody.
She was my closest auntie. Always the warmest and most encouraging woman around. Always so proud and ready to be a cheer leader. Always so happy and knew empathy like nobody I have ever met in my life. She cared about everybody.
Wasn't always perfect, I mean she was involved in a defining core event in my life. But she knew both how to give and receive love. Her husband, was also my closest uncle. Always so friendly, and took me to all the local University games he had tickets to as a child.
In short, they were the closest thing to "ideal" parents I've ever had. My mother would be offended to hear this, and my father would also feel the same, but other than denying him friend status every time he makes a new facebook account, I really have no contact with him.
I am curious if I'll see him at the funeral. Doubtful, and the last I heard he was located in Virginia, doing work in the Navy shipyards..or at least one of the ship yards on the east coast.
I hope I don't see him there, not that I could make a scene at a funeral, but I know I can give off some vibes when annoyed and even worse when other people are getting involved.
Anyway..I'm a little anxious about my up coming stay in Seattle. I still associate the city with some events that I still leave remnants like bits of shrapnel that can't be fully removed.
