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sox88

Lebanon, Oregon

Member Since 2011

Followers 22 Following 23

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Wednesday Nov 09, 2011

Nov 9, 2011
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Yesterday was a really rough day. I'm a weekly volunteer in my son's classroom. It's important to me to be involved in his schooling, and I know that teachers need all the help they can get. While I was there, he was called out of the room, up to the office. The teacher told me it was nothing to worry about, that he had a meltdown earlier in the day, and they were probably just making sure he was calmed down and OK. He came back to class at the end of the day, I signed out in the office and we headed out to the parking lot. I started talking to him to figure out what happened. He has meltdowns occasionally, and we're really working with him to help him learn to control them. He told me that a nice man just wanted to talk to him and make sure he felt safe. I thought that was a little odd, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next. The teacher came out to the parking lot after us, and told me they needed to speak to me in the office. We walk back in, and I'm introduced to a gentleman from the Department of Human Services. Apparently, I'm suspected of child abuse. During his meltdown in the morning, my son took a fairly minor incident from the night before and embellished the heck out of it.

Here's what really happened. We were going toe to toe about him cleaning his room. A fairly common occurrence in our house. I told him that he wouldn't get dinner until he made some progress in his room. When dinner time came, I checked his room, saw that he had made some progress, and brought him down to eat dinner. I reminded him that he had an activity the next day, and if he didn't make more progress by the time we needed to leave for that activity, that he wouldn't be able to go. Trying to find incentives for him to finish the cleaning project.

Here's what I've pieced together about what happened that morning. He had an incident in his Color Room, that upset him. He was doing something he wasn't supposed to be and the teacher called him on it, and told him to throw what he was playing with away. After that, a member of the office staff found him in the hall looking upset. She asked him what was going on, and through the course of the conversation, he told here that he didn't get to eat dinner last night, that we kicked him out of the house, and made him sleep in the car. Pretty scary accusations, none of them true.

She's a mandated reporter, so she called social services. They came to the school, and interviewed my son. He's a happy, fairly well adjusted kid with ADHD tendencies, and a penchant for random emotional meltdowns. Fortunately for me, the social worker appears to believe that I'm not abusing him. He does however have to interview my 4 year old before he can close the case, and has left that interview up in the air with an "I'll call you". Now, my husband and I are living in panic. What if he doesn't believe us, what if our son decides he can get away with misbehaving by telling lies. How do I deal with people who believe that I'm abusing my son, and called to file the report.

Oh, and to top it all off, the woman who filed the report, pulled me aside after the meeting with the social worker to ask me if I needed a Thanksgiving dinner basket. Cause now she believes that I can't afford to feed my kids. This morning, she told me she hoped I wasn't offended that she asked me about the basket. It was a poor apology at best, and left me feeling even more upset. It's really hard to know what to do in a situation like this.
frown
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
snakeplissken:
While I believe strongly that there should be systems that take care of actual social problems I also believe that those systems should be better implemented. What I mean is that sometimes they should just keep their noses out of other people's business. Especially when it comes to raising children. There is no manual for that, so bureaucratic and systematic bs tends not to work so well.

Thought I saw you at the bout the other night, but only as you went out the door. Large beardy guy and two kids? I would have chased you down and said hello but I was kinda on the track floor because I wanted to talk to a dame who I may or may not have a bit of a crush on. I admit nothing. blush
Nov 9, 2011
snakeplissken:
Oh I think it'll be a good time. I'll be happier when I get a time ironed out with her. That stitches n' bones is a real kick-ass gal.
Nov 11, 2011

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