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soulfly

United Kingdom

Member Since 2002

Followers 38 Following 52

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Friday Jun 17, 2005

Jun 16, 2005
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Woohoo, look what I made at work today!!!!



You should have seen the other guy (ahem!)

That will teach me for not doing what I am told. Bloody machines!!!


Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the
Farmers bar, drinking beer. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "You know, I'm tired of goin' through life withoot an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."

Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.


The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets the Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's that?"

The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"

"Aye"

"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a Garden."

"That's true, I dae huv a Garden."

"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Aye, I do have a hoose."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"I have a femily."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Aye, I dae have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a
heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out all of that because I have a strimmer." Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub.

He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history and logic.

"Logic?" Shuie says, "Fit's that?"

Tam says, "I'll show you. Do you have a strimmer?"

"No."

"Then you're a poof."
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
sistervigilante:
thank you!! yeah the dark days of the evil eye rule are over!!!!! well for now!! yay!!!! dear god tho -- your hand!! hope its healing well!! although you will be left with a scar..but i'm sure you could create a herotic tale of how you got it...saving an old woman from a drugged up junky mugger...who knows wink hehehhe well i hope the hand gets better soon!!! take care kiss
Jun 23, 2005
ladywook:
wow, looks like someone had fun at work
the joys of being an engineer biggrin
Jun 27, 2005

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