sorrowsjoy

It is 2 in the morning and here I sit a great sadness burning in my chest a melancholy mood here in this still night. I wonder at myself, 28 years of hiding from the eyes of life, my face etched with the lines and wear of time. The duality of hiding but aching for connection and love. Fighting tooth and nail to embrace all the pieces of myself into a tapestry of immortal memory but remembered by who? Always the stranger and my own outcast, a shadow that breathes but is never seen for I wish to fly away, perhaps into the sun to burn away the tragedy of my life and be reborn like the phoenix so beautiful that you cannot help but love it (me). I am the child that never was ,who dreams of fairy tales where I am scarred but still strong,loved by many but even more by just one--Ohh please hold me,be my enduring shelter. I will bury my flaws and never disappoint you. I will cage my demons until they become dust and I will always smile and bite back all the pain,I will be perfect just for you. But fairy tales only exist in a different place,in innocence, the place where we all began. All of us a leaf on the universal tree of life spinning in concentric circles in the wheel of time. Every second the past,the future,and always the present of linear consequences. I cry for all of those who died forgotten,individuals with thoughts,ideas,love,pain,hopes,and dreams. We are all connected yet always alone. A paradox like a rift in the earth, infinite and powerful. Ashes to ashes and Dust to dust and like the stars in the sky that still burn,even in death our souls still turn in the dark,a beacon in the void,a plea for trust. What we are will always be,a spark of life for those who can see and embrace eternity.....


Lexi


When Love Cast Me Out,It Was Cruelty Who Took Pity On Me---Jaquline Carey