So a few weeks back, @missy, @rambo, @lyxzen asked us to retell a time we faced discrimination of any kind for @bloghomework. I normally don't do these more serious homeworks but I did think of an instance where I faced that and it really did affect me.
I mean, I'm white, European ancestry, come from a good home in suburban southern California. There's not a whole lot to discriminate me on. Funny side story, I had a random man come into my lobby, talk at me for a while, and mention that I must know something about repression because I am a woman. I have never once in my life been "repressed" due to the fact I have lady bits....
Anyways, the only thing I have ever felt discriminated or looked down upon is for being rather thin.
The most hurtful comment came just after one of my previous sets went live. My friend kept pestering me that I should create an Instagram account to compliment my SG profile and so I did. I followed all the directions to link the two and once my set was live, the HopefulSuicideGirls instagram account posted a photo from that set. I was so excited! I got lots of new followers on both my pages. That was until I saw a comment that someone left on the photo on IG
Little did that person know, or probably care, how fucking bad that comment hurt me.
I've always struggled with the fact that I am, and likely will never be without enhancement, a curvy, voluptuous female.
In fact, for my college graduation, I considered getting breast implants. My mom encouraged it even since she thought it would help my esteem. Instead, as I've talked about before, I got my heart chest piece instead.
I just disliked that I could never have cleavage and the space in between my breasts was so expansive. I had to get something to make it look like there was more going on.
Of course I know opening up one's self on the internet can lead to all sorts of things but this one just struck such a nerve, especially so quickly.
I've had a guest once, half jokingly, ask if I eat so I immediately went and grabbed a snack from my lunch. Most of the time I can brush it but the nature of that comment alongside a picture I really liked, hurt! Now, I don't even bother looking a the comments on IG because they are not real members of the Suicide Girls community and their mentality is not the same, of accepting and enjoying people of all varieties.
There's so much talk about accepting larger women, which is great! EVERYONE needs to be accepted, no matter their size. Seriously, how the hell does my weight, big or small, affect anyone but myself?
