Come on Baby Light my Fire

21

A query for the couples of SG; how do you keep the spark going?

My goon and I have been together for going on 3 years. I'm a serial monogamist; my last relationship was for 6 years from my late teens to early 20s. He's dated more than me but this is also his longest running relationship.

I'll admit that our relationship wasn't the most sexually charged from the beginning but it definitely has been on a downward slope since we moved in together nearly 2 years ago. On the other hand, the affection is definitely there, we are very loving with one another, and we have gotten into one serious argument since cohabitating.

We don't have a ton of stressors, kids, or anything like that. We do keep pretty opposite schedules with me being a granny and him sleeping in until 1pm if left alone. I find myself generally being the engager and there are things I wish he'd do that are up to me to specify.

I'm just wondering how others who are married, in a long term relationship, keep the passion burning. I'm definitely looking at @chefdaddy and @orangey from their antics they talk about!

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
orangey:
I've got input, but need to think up an eloquent response. :)
chefdaddy:
Are you still secretly married and living with your parents. I would call that a stressor. It's not kids but it would be stressful. Plus it is hard to push your boundaries when you have roommates, especially your family. If he wants to go toy shopping, take him. Use your hotel connections to get some employee rate rooms so you can get away and cut loose somewhere you don't care who hears you. Plus there is no way you should be snubbed for video games, sit in his way or on his lap or on his head.  @orangey may say other things but here is what I would say keeps us going. 1. I never say no when she initiates. Maybe a hand full of times in 15 years and most involved illness. She shoots me down all the time so when she is down to get down I oblige.  2. Never pass up an opportunity to get down in a new place. Within reason of course, don't get caught or arrested. We love to find spots outside.  3. Be willing to try something new. At this point the wife has such a good sport I owe her any freaky shit she could ask for. Over all we have fun with eachother. We have been studying eachother for a long time and we are pretty good at tripping each other's triggers. Take some time and get away with eachother. Travelling together and being alone together is the best way to get to know one another. Working opposite shifts is rough and your lives are pretty full so that is easier said than done but you have to seize the little chances you get. A day trip here and there could help. 

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