soph

feeling confused... as usual. but looking forward to making some big changes in my life over the next several months and learning to deal with them peacefully. my life is becoming a tiny bit more solid, I can deal with it now. will I know when I am grown up? I don't know if I want to or not. I envy the wise sparkle in my sweet grandma's eyes, like a shy toddler bursting to tell a new secret. I want to write letters to my family telling them how and why I love them; i have been guiltily musing that perhaps they don't really know, and I want to be sure that all that's in my heart gets said. I feel very mortal indeed these days, calmly expectant; maybe it's the sunny weather. sunshine and windy afternoons always evoke my thoughtfully morbid side. hmmmmm.
p.s.: I HATE March. even when everything seems to be going relatively well, that just makes the inevitable March Crisis more of a shock. trying to prepare myself. dreading it, wishing I could hibernate...