I have realised, and this has been confirmed by various third parties, that I appeared to be a raving lunatic the first night I entered the SG chat room. I am not a raving lunatic, but appeared so due to my complete ignorance of the social rules of online communication. For the first week in the chat room, I stumbled about trying to figure out these rules. They seemed elusive, complicated. Thanks to some very nice people who I have become friendly with, I think I am now starting to fully grasp what it is all about. I think the social rules in an online chat room are essentially NO DIFFERENT than the social rules in a "real life" social environment. My difficulty stemmed from the fact that I had assumed that the rules would be different. I was searching for a difference that wasn't there. I have learned some things about online socialisation:
- be friendly
- follow the topic of conversation
- don't say things that might offend others
- start off by talking about general, non-personal things with people, until you get to know them a bit
- don't interupt people if they are talking to each other - if you want to say something to someone, wait until there is a natural break in the conversation
- remember that what you say to someone may be "heard" by everyone
- don't dominate the conversation or try to steer it to a topic that you want to talk about if the others are not interested
- don't try to be funny at someone elses expence
- be alert to social signals - don't try to talk to someone if they don't seem receptive to your approach
- maintain a sense of fun - try to enjoy yourself
The list could go on. The thing to note here is that all these things could be applied to any "real world" social situation. And I think that is the key to online socialising - remember that it is very similar to normal socialising and all the same social rules apply. If you wouldn't do something in a "real world" social situation, think twice about doing it online. I have learned this the hard way.
- be friendly
- follow the topic of conversation
- don't say things that might offend others
- start off by talking about general, non-personal things with people, until you get to know them a bit
- don't interupt people if they are talking to each other - if you want to say something to someone, wait until there is a natural break in the conversation
- remember that what you say to someone may be "heard" by everyone
- don't dominate the conversation or try to steer it to a topic that you want to talk about if the others are not interested
- don't try to be funny at someone elses expence
- be alert to social signals - don't try to talk to someone if they don't seem receptive to your approach
- maintain a sense of fun - try to enjoy yourself
The list could go on. The thing to note here is that all these things could be applied to any "real world" social situation. And I think that is the key to online socialising - remember that it is very similar to normal socialising and all the same social rules apply. If you wouldn't do something in a "real world" social situation, think twice about doing it online. I have learned this the hard way.
don't dominate the conversation
I've found the entire opposite of that to be true. Everyone has differing tastes, but a lot of people seem to like the one's who are more personable, more active, more noticable. It's along the same line as people prefering to make friends with celebraties.
Also, I much prefer the term in person to real world. Saying "real world" is like saying that the things that people do and say aren't real and are meaningless.