snow

crash and burn.

i leave for tour in 15 days. i am excited and nervous. i have so much to do....
i am feeling the pressure...and the weight that is being placed upon me. my personal situation is shit. i have no money to buy shit for tour. i wish i had an advance or something. i have anxiety every fucking day. i am not complaining. i just wish things were going more smoothly. i really just want to leave right now. dance, have fun, make money, meet all of you. eat. i also want to eat. cry i can't fucking stop crying. i am just sad. sad and simple. my brain in dripping out my ears, but i still have to hold it together when i am out, when i work, when i perform. bleh. i need to cuddle.

so edward scissorhands is playing at the theater....hmmm clinton st. i think. so if someone wants to take me...hint hint....

mood swings.

well it doesn't look like i am going to have a laptop by tour. i will have a new computer though for home.

wake up.

i need to write more. everything comes out wrong...and sloppy...and

just one of those days when everything hits you. in a few hours i will try to make things happen, make myself okay again and smile.

i want my hair pulled...in the most loving way.

maybe it is christmas. christmas makes me sad. i love the tin trees and 60's xmas lights....of course they are up all year round in my house. right next to the skulls.

look....i am happy now.