smithers_jones

I was seriously mislead about the usefulness of cats in predicting earthquakes. They didn't start acting strangely until 20 minutes after the quake. Even DURING the quake they just sat their grooming themselves. I suspect they will be equally as useless prior to the alien invasion.

My life would be so much better if only I owned a dune buggy.

Reanimated Dick Clark was super creepy.

Apparently you can get TMJ from getting punched in the face. Also, accidentally leaving an essential fatty acid gel-pill in your pocket and then putting it in the wash makes your clothes smell like a fish.

Now I can watch the Jets not make the playoffs in HD!

A few of my phobias:

Accidentally eating cat food.
Death by alligator
Death by shark
That my cats love me for Meow Mix, not for me.
Penisdectomy
That my TomTom will one day lead me to an abandoned area and I will be mugged by robot hooligans.

Cats are jerks.

This is fantastic.