I would love nothing more than to write you a page full of sunshine and lollipops. I'd be tickled pink to pump out a page of happy brain porno that made you feel safe when you sleep at night.
I'm not going to.
Instead, I'm going to talk about a few things that are me feel very angry this week. As a fun game for all you people watching at home, try to tie these things together into a paranoid conspiracy!
- Movies (usually Disney) that depend on the parody of other movies (usually in a cutesy/cliche way, detracting from any original story)
- The musical "Rent", not because I'm anti-poor, because I'm anti-skin-crawling idiocy. This play is so goddamn didactic it makes you want to join the republican party and smash a drag-queen hooker aids-junkie in the face with a heavy sack of hundred dollar bills. The movie is only going to be worse.
"Get Rich Or Die Trying" Is it wrong to wish he died trying?
- 24-hour, non-stop coverage of nothing.
*This started when we all glued our eyes to fuzzy green pictures with light green blobs flying across the dark green for hours at a time in 1993. I still don't know what a SCUD missile looks like. Is Bagdhad really made entirely of nightvision-green limestone rubble?
- Canadian Politics: So boring you almost wish you were American. Even our scandals suck.
- "True Stories" about hauntings, abductions, and possesions. If I'm an idiot and I believe something made up has happened to me, then, um, it's true?
- Myspace bands that I don't know, but want to be my friend. Do they really want to be my friend? I'd like to believe it, I really would.
- People who clearly suck, yet walk around with self-satisfied looks on their faces.
- This rash your mom gave me
I'm not going to.
Instead, I'm going to talk about a few things that are me feel very angry this week. As a fun game for all you people watching at home, try to tie these things together into a paranoid conspiracy!
- Movies (usually Disney) that depend on the parody of other movies (usually in a cutesy/cliche way, detracting from any original story)
- The musical "Rent", not because I'm anti-poor, because I'm anti-skin-crawling idiocy. This play is so goddamn didactic it makes you want to join the republican party and smash a drag-queen hooker aids-junkie in the face with a heavy sack of hundred dollar bills. The movie is only going to be worse.
"Get Rich Or Die Trying" Is it wrong to wish he died trying?
- 24-hour, non-stop coverage of nothing.
*This started when we all glued our eyes to fuzzy green pictures with light green blobs flying across the dark green for hours at a time in 1993. I still don't know what a SCUD missile looks like. Is Bagdhad really made entirely of nightvision-green limestone rubble?
- Canadian Politics: So boring you almost wish you were American. Even our scandals suck.
- "True Stories" about hauntings, abductions, and possesions. If I'm an idiot and I believe something made up has happened to me, then, um, it's true?
- Myspace bands that I don't know, but want to be my friend. Do they really want to be my friend? I'd like to believe it, I really would.
- People who clearly suck, yet walk around with self-satisfied looks on their faces.
- This rash your mom gave me
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
im not really into going out in oshawa
i prefer to leave town