The second I turn the lights out to go to sleep, the dark thoughts follow me. I can doze perfectly well with the lights on and tv blaring, but as soon as I try to go to bed for the night, my brain is wide awake and WILL NOT SHUT UP. And it's always harping on my personal failings and sources of stress. Tonight's theme is rejection. Last weekend I had a bit of a shock to my system (and the copious amounts of alcohol didn't help), and I really have no idea what I'm getting myself into tomorrow night. I do know that I'm never getting totally piss-faced with these people again, I always come out feeling I've made an ass of myself. I can't help but wonder if the underlying hostile feelings I feel from some of them stems back to me being drunk and obnoxious over the summer or if it's just in my head. Because my head is pretty cruel. It won't let me sleep.
