What's wrong with me? Why do I obsess so much?
When I quit a stupid online game, I felt like there was a huge hole in my spare time. I was this close to resubscribing. I still am.
Now that so many SGs are leaving (including, sadly, Ciel) i'm starting to worry about it more: will my favourite SGs go? I am starting to check SG journals hourly to make sure no-one is declaring their intention to leave. Why should this matter so much to me?
When I was in college, I had a crush. She was a devout Christian girl with every intention of saving herself for her true love, and being able to wear a white wedding dress with no feeling of hypocrisy. There was me, a fat sarcastic geek who was half-scared-shitless to talk to anyone, and wholly-scared-shitless to talk to girls. I didn't have a hope in hell, and what was worse I never even got the balls to find out one way or the other.
Anyway, now she's getting married. I was feeling pretty cool about it; i'm smarter, more confident now than I was six years ago. I'd be pleasant, hell i'd be funny, and i'd even maybe mention as an aside how I used to have a silly little (massive understatement) crush on her for a while. I had maybe two weeks to prepare myself.
But then I bumped into her on the street this afternoon, for the first time in five years. I hardly stopped, and she didn't- but I panicked. I walked on, then I turned back, and I walked past her and on and hid in a shop and tried to stop my face exploding. She didn't notice me; why should she? We hardly knew each other, and I look pretty different now. She doesn't at all... but I know now that she wasn't all that attractive. Cute, maybe, but hardly worthy of the adulation I had for her. Completely NOT my type.
So why all the hysterics?
Am I, against all previous evidence, human too?
When I quit a stupid online game, I felt like there was a huge hole in my spare time. I was this close to resubscribing. I still am.
Now that so many SGs are leaving (including, sadly, Ciel) i'm starting to worry about it more: will my favourite SGs go? I am starting to check SG journals hourly to make sure no-one is declaring their intention to leave. Why should this matter so much to me?
When I was in college, I had a crush. She was a devout Christian girl with every intention of saving herself for her true love, and being able to wear a white wedding dress with no feeling of hypocrisy. There was me, a fat sarcastic geek who was half-scared-shitless to talk to anyone, and wholly-scared-shitless to talk to girls. I didn't have a hope in hell, and what was worse I never even got the balls to find out one way or the other.
Anyway, now she's getting married. I was feeling pretty cool about it; i'm smarter, more confident now than I was six years ago. I'd be pleasant, hell i'd be funny, and i'd even maybe mention as an aside how I used to have a silly little (massive understatement) crush on her for a while. I had maybe two weeks to prepare myself.
But then I bumped into her on the street this afternoon, for the first time in five years. I hardly stopped, and she didn't- but I panicked. I walked on, then I turned back, and I walked past her and on and hid in a shop and tried to stop my face exploding. She didn't notice me; why should she? We hardly knew each other, and I look pretty different now. She doesn't at all... but I know now that she wasn't all that attractive. Cute, maybe, but hardly worthy of the adulation I had for her. Completely NOT my type.
So why all the hysterics?
Am I, against all previous evidence, human too?
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be a man, not a mousie!