Today's entry is going to be titled "Party Times." Fitting, as this weekend has been drunker than a boatload of sailors on a Mardi Gras float. And yet i stand before ye to tell the harrowing tale, and share important survival tips. HUNKER DOWN and harken to my tale.
When caught at a backyard barbeque being the only female sans child...might i add, a potluck to which you have, say, brought a bottle of DeWarrs with a drawing of a place-setting comically taped to it, it is important to learn the art of quality alone time.
Wearing rolled khaki pants, if at all possible. Backlit for drama.
Sweet solitude.
The supermarket will often be the place where inspiration for the party hits.
With a clue and a prayer, direct your team to the chip aisle, aka "Man's (Intestinal) Ruin."
Yes, i CAN save you a shopping "kart!"
If i can find that damned kart-quarter, that is.
Perfect your hiding place in the event the party turn sour in the flower section.
Delight in the conversation of strangers!
Know when to be excellent, and when to be...short.
Also know not to mock the headwear of the other guests.
Suggest a singalong with pals! Wear your favorite SG set-shirt!
Weezer is always a big hit with the laydeez.
Scotchy-scotch scotch. Arty-art-art. Both big thumbs-up!
I term this facial expression: "tankdafied."
Play word games to ease social pressures! For example, my shirt says "ton tub," backwards.
Help your guests locate their cars in the convenient backwoods lot provided.
(Hint: It's not blue!)
Always ask the hydrocephalic dwarves permission BEFORE taking their picture!
The Hulk-ess prefers Chambord, thanks.
Remember, kids: you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. BUT.....you can't get a shopping kart without a quarter deposit.
When caught at a backyard barbeque being the only female sans child...might i add, a potluck to which you have, say, brought a bottle of DeWarrs with a drawing of a place-setting comically taped to it, it is important to learn the art of quality alone time.
Wearing rolled khaki pants, if at all possible. Backlit for drama.
Sweet solitude.
The supermarket will often be the place where inspiration for the party hits.
With a clue and a prayer, direct your team to the chip aisle, aka "Man's (Intestinal) Ruin."
Yes, i CAN save you a shopping "kart!"
If i can find that damned kart-quarter, that is.
Perfect your hiding place in the event the party turn sour in the flower section.
Delight in the conversation of strangers!
Know when to be excellent, and when to be...short.
Also know not to mock the headwear of the other guests.
Suggest a singalong with pals! Wear your favorite SG set-shirt!
Weezer is always a big hit with the laydeez.
Scotchy-scotch scotch. Arty-art-art. Both big thumbs-up!
I term this facial expression: "tankdafied."
Play word games to ease social pressures! For example, my shirt says "ton tub," backwards.
Help your guests locate their cars in the convenient backwoods lot provided.
(Hint: It's not blue!)
Always ask the hydrocephalic dwarves permission BEFORE taking their picture!
The Hulk-ess prefers Chambord, thanks.
Remember, kids: you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. BUT.....you can't get a shopping kart without a quarter deposit.
VIEW 25 of 40 COMMENTS
return that kart and JET AWAY, to the exciting land of three sticks of juicy fruit, or the splendid getaway of gilded society known only as "chic-let."
The quarter deposit, as good as a 16lb chain on that kart... a 16lb chain made of butter.
and dooood...whats the scoop with the pics yo?