it has come to my attention via my special penguin, Uncognitive, that I should take much advantage of my internet predicament and attempt to be not merely in absentia, but MYSTERIOUS and ALOOF ala Garbo, or possibly Jimmy Dean. Him and his woodsy cabins, smoking sausages to all hours of the night. THE MYSTERY, SHE IS MILDLY SPICY!!
siv's tips for MYSTERY and GLAMOUR:
1) take all pictures in the greenest light possible, yellow as a possible second. Is it jaundice? the refracted light from a recent diamond heist? a rather ineffectual tab of Dramamine? only your color balance knows for sure!!! (p.s. i cheated because i took this pic above long before i had any such list in mind. HOW MYSTERIOUS IT IS. )
2)Respond to every question with "But of course," and don't forget to slap the butler if his buttling is substandard.
3) Use a Sharpie to turn unsightly blemishes into instantly glamorous moles. As the seasons turn and the "moles" rotate like a frenetic kaleidoscope of beautymarkage, you will dazzle onlookers with Monroe-esque loveliness. Or perhaps suspicions that you have the Pox. ;P
4)Screen all calls. Even better: speak only through screen doors. Better still: wear entire costume fashioned from old storm windows and chicken wire.
5)Weep sadly to self and eat carton of Ben and Jerry's, silently cursing the Academy and plotting to kidnap the Pope.
p.s. love to crazybob, spinoza, cherie, uncognitive, partiallyblind, paul nikon, dogslife, micah and rozehead and everyone else who commented on my journals even in the face of my being the incredible non-response woman. (an example: i think i missed some names, but going "back" on my browser takes about 10 minutes.
)
siv's tips for MYSTERY and GLAMOUR:
1) take all pictures in the greenest light possible, yellow as a possible second. Is it jaundice? the refracted light from a recent diamond heist? a rather ineffectual tab of Dramamine? only your color balance knows for sure!!! (p.s. i cheated because i took this pic above long before i had any such list in mind. HOW MYSTERIOUS IT IS. )
2)Respond to every question with "But of course," and don't forget to slap the butler if his buttling is substandard.
3) Use a Sharpie to turn unsightly blemishes into instantly glamorous moles. As the seasons turn and the "moles" rotate like a frenetic kaleidoscope of beautymarkage, you will dazzle onlookers with Monroe-esque loveliness. Or perhaps suspicions that you have the Pox. ;P
4)Screen all calls. Even better: speak only through screen doors. Better still: wear entire costume fashioned from old storm windows and chicken wire.
5)Weep sadly to self and eat carton of Ben and Jerry's, silently cursing the Academy and plotting to kidnap the Pope.
p.s. love to crazybob, spinoza, cherie, uncognitive, partiallyblind, paul nikon, dogslife, micah and rozehead and everyone else who commented on my journals even in the face of my being the incredible non-response woman. (an example: i think i missed some names, but going "back" on my browser takes about 10 minutes.
)VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
nex_flamma:
that was easily one of the funniest things I've seen on here in a long time. You get like 50,000 points for originality and 14 points for a Jimmy Dean Sausage reference.
kingskottie:
you are one rocking leo!