Eh.. I did not have a good day today. I was totally fuckin' bummed out and I'm not sure why. I think I try not to get bothered by things so I don't confront it - but it bothers me anyway and I still don't want to acknowledge it, because really, I just refuse to be bothered. 
I was very glad to find the house to myself when I got home from work. I made Mexican spaghetti (spaghetti w/ Tapatio sauce!), had half a bottle of red wine, then went to bed.
One of my housemates just got in from a party. He'd invited me to a magazine party yesterday with promises of a hipster rockstar fun filled evening. I accepted the invite and promptly fell asleep. lol. I suck.
I've been really tired the past couple days and sleeping alot. I need to get off my ass and start going back to the gym. I felt so much better when I was working out. It's right down the street - I have no excuses.
He asked how things were going with him or him or him and I said, "Fuck him, fuck him and he can go suck it himself!" So, then he gave me the latest issue of Playboy and told me everything I need to know about getting laid lies within those pages. Heh. I don't know how much truth there is in that because I always thought Cosmo held that info....
The Red Vic is showing Academy Award Nominated Shorts. I'm going to try to remember to go one night.
It is Friday. I'm not excited. I have to be up in a few hours to get ready for work. They are having a chili cook-off at work today. I've been on a veggie / fruit and juice kick all week... at least at work. Lots of servings of bananas or plums or oranges or apricots and green salads.
My roommate has tomorrow off work. I wonder what he will be doing. He's really sweet and told me I can hang out with him and he will introduce me to cool people.
Yesterday Ms. Chile asked me where all my friends are and I told her I don't have any. She asked me why and I told her it's because I don't like very many people much. I don't suppose that's entirely true. But, I've moved around alot the past 10 years. I've lived a completely different life from most people my age... I'm just now learning to let that go and find another level on which to relate. I don't have any ties... and it's kinda nice because there is no one to tell me who I am.. but also it can get kinda lonely because no one knows who I am, either. I mean, really.
The things that keep me up at night.... I suppose I'll have a spot of tea and try to get back to sleep.
I was very glad to find the house to myself when I got home from work. I made Mexican spaghetti (spaghetti w/ Tapatio sauce!), had half a bottle of red wine, then went to bed.
One of my housemates just got in from a party. He'd invited me to a magazine party yesterday with promises of a hipster rockstar fun filled evening. I accepted the invite and promptly fell asleep. lol. I suck.
I've been really tired the past couple days and sleeping alot. I need to get off my ass and start going back to the gym. I felt so much better when I was working out. It's right down the street - I have no excuses.
He asked how things were going with him or him or him and I said, "Fuck him, fuck him and he can go suck it himself!" So, then he gave me the latest issue of Playboy and told me everything I need to know about getting laid lies within those pages. Heh. I don't know how much truth there is in that because I always thought Cosmo held that info....
The Red Vic is showing Academy Award Nominated Shorts. I'm going to try to remember to go one night.
It is Friday. I'm not excited. I have to be up in a few hours to get ready for work. They are having a chili cook-off at work today. I've been on a veggie / fruit and juice kick all week... at least at work. Lots of servings of bananas or plums or oranges or apricots and green salads.
My roommate has tomorrow off work. I wonder what he will be doing. He's really sweet and told me I can hang out with him and he will introduce me to cool people.
Yesterday Ms. Chile asked me where all my friends are and I told her I don't have any. She asked me why and I told her it's because I don't like very many people much. I don't suppose that's entirely true. But, I've moved around alot the past 10 years. I've lived a completely different life from most people my age... I'm just now learning to let that go and find another level on which to relate. I don't have any ties... and it's kinda nice because there is no one to tell me who I am.. but also it can get kinda lonely because no one knows who I am, either. I mean, really.
The things that keep me up at night.... I suppose I'll have a spot of tea and try to get back to sleep.
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I love reading your journal. Makes me smile
I can't speak from anyone's experience but my own..but after eight years as close friends, I finally feel like Tricia knows me. My mom knows me. I hope my father knows me, but I'm not sure. My ex-boyfriend B knows the me I was two years ago, and to some extent the me I am now, but as with everything else, it's a continuum.
Sometimes having few or no ties can be great..but sometimes being tied to someone takes away that harsh grating loneliness that keeps one up at night.
I hope things look better soon. Sometimes it's not a change in circumstances but in one's outlook that makes things better.
Loves..