So I'm visting the family in Ipswich & it feels a bit bizarre to tell the truth!
Basically I lived in a place called Elm Park in Essex until I was 23yrs old & loved it. My family were in a lot of debt so they sold the house & moved us to Ipswich because my dad could get a work transfer to Felixstowe. I tried really hard for 4 years but hated it, everything in me knew I belonged back home in Essex with my friends & boyfriend. I took a month off work here & went to live with friends in Brentwood in Essex for a month, job hunted like mad every day & thankfully found my wonderful job as a baker & stayed. A very happy escape back home to Essex where I belong!
My family are upset I left home but being 27yrs old & sharing a bedroom with my 18yr old sister was driving me mental. Also I have enough issues already & living with my violent alcoholic brother was too much!! When you're genuinely afraid his violent 4am outbursts are going to result in you commiting fratricide to protect your own family it's time to walk away for your own sanity! As selfish as it sounds, I had to escape! Especially as he is a genuine violent mental case who needs help but the family WON'T do anything because "he'll never get a job if he get labelled mental". REALLY?? He's been unemployed since school, a DEACADE ago, take the f**king hint!! FRUSTRATION broke me!! I left home!! Anyway...
I'm currently on holiday & thought I'd come home & see some friends, spend some time with the family & my sister whom I've missed very much. I lived in this house for 4 years & walked that road to work every day but I feel like a complete stranger in my own home, an intruder. I've only been living away 6 months visit monthly but coming back always feels weird. Not my bed, not my room. I love seeing my sister & coming home to mum's roast dinners but I always find the whole experience emotionally weird. Like I don't belong anymore.
I would not trade my life in Essex in again for anything!! (Even the fact that rent in Essex is double that of Ipswich) But i miss friends here, the drunken nights out & the good times with family. Emotional confusion!
Basically I lived in a place called Elm Park in Essex until I was 23yrs old & loved it. My family were in a lot of debt so they sold the house & moved us to Ipswich because my dad could get a work transfer to Felixstowe. I tried really hard for 4 years but hated it, everything in me knew I belonged back home in Essex with my friends & boyfriend. I took a month off work here & went to live with friends in Brentwood in Essex for a month, job hunted like mad every day & thankfully found my wonderful job as a baker & stayed. A very happy escape back home to Essex where I belong!
My family are upset I left home but being 27yrs old & sharing a bedroom with my 18yr old sister was driving me mental. Also I have enough issues already & living with my violent alcoholic brother was too much!! When you're genuinely afraid his violent 4am outbursts are going to result in you commiting fratricide to protect your own family it's time to walk away for your own sanity! As selfish as it sounds, I had to escape! Especially as he is a genuine violent mental case who needs help but the family WON'T do anything because "he'll never get a job if he get labelled mental". REALLY?? He's been unemployed since school, a DEACADE ago, take the f**king hint!! FRUSTRATION broke me!! I left home!! Anyway...
I'm currently on holiday & thought I'd come home & see some friends, spend some time with the family & my sister whom I've missed very much. I lived in this house for 4 years & walked that road to work every day but I feel like a complete stranger in my own home, an intruder. I've only been living away 6 months visit monthly but coming back always feels weird. Not my bed, not my room. I love seeing my sister & coming home to mum's roast dinners but I always find the whole experience emotionally weird. Like I don't belong anymore.
I would not trade my life in Essex in again for anything!! (Even the fact that rent in Essex is double that of Ipswich) But i miss friends here, the drunken nights out & the good times with family. Emotional confusion!
throughnthrough:
i know how you feel...no matter how much i just want to get up and go...and everywhere i HAVE gone...i always end up back in NY....and i feel the awkwardness with my family whenever i come back too...keep your head up, dear! live your life the way you feel happiest- and i think you've figured that part out already!
sinfuldesire:
Thank you.